I Read This Plan in a Novel... Might Work! Obviously Illegal... In Michigan... DO NOT DO THIS! Cannabis is Still Illegal in Michigan!
Silly Billy and Susan were easing on Down the Road...
"You Know What I'd Like to Do for Make a Difference Day? Asked Billy "I'd Like to Feed the CEO of Dow Chemical a Couple of Cannabis Cookies and See if It's Possible to FLIP THE SCRIPT of His Life from DOING EVIL FOR MONEY to Doing Good For The Planet!"
"Ok" Said Susan... His House is Right on the Way... about a Thousand Miles Ahead...
and they Eased on Down the Road...
"Since You've Got Google on that Phone... Find out Who It Is..."
"It's Jim Fitterling.." Said Susan... "and Here are Directions To His Country Club... The Midland Country Club at 1120 W St Andrews Rd, Midland, Michigan... Thank You Google maps..."
"Next Stop, Where the Thumb Meets the Index Finger in It's a Mitten, Michigan!" Said Billy.
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| Map to the Villain's Lair... |
Then Billy Said: "Susan, You've Got That Faraway Look In Your Eye... What are You Wondering About?"
And Susan Replied: "I've always questioned what was happening BEFORE the Big Bang. Did Gravity Cause the Universe to Collapse into One Unstable point That Subsequently Blew UP? Was Our Big Bang One of Billions of Big Bangs? Stretching Back through time... Forever and Ever... Amen?"
Billy Said: "Well, We'll Never Know the Answer To That One, But... "
and at That Moment a Fully Loaded Logging Truck Blew Its Horn! HOOOONNNNKKKK! Billy, Lost in thought, had drifted over the Center Line on the Road and was Headed for a Fatal Car Crash... at The Very The Last Moment He Swerved and Saved All Three of Their Lives!
"Thank God You Didn't Run Head on into that Fully Loaded Logging Truck. Said Susan... "That's a Little Reminder that REALITY EXISTS No Matter What You Believe."
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and then the story goes on and on and on for a long time...
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~
"Dang! It Appears that We Are Freaking Lost... We Should be Heading Towards Bismarck, North Dakota." SAID EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE!
"We Should Have Gone North on #85 and Then East on #12. When We Got To STURGIS We Were Going the Wrong Way." Said Silly Billy.
"Yeah, But I Always Wanted to See STURGIS... It Was Interesting Even Off Season When There Were Not a Gazillion Bikers... Maybe Even Better!" Said Susan...
"And That Side Trip To Devil's Tower Was EPIC... Do DO Do Do DUH!" Sang [Random Named Chick]
Suzie Turned on the Car Radio and A Talking Head Said:
"I See on the TV News That a Remote Controlled Machine Gun Killed the Top Iranian Nuclear Scientist. My First Reaction was: Can I Get One for Christmas? What are the Controls Like? A Gameboy? Joystick? and Then after Further Contemplation I Wondered... What IF We Murdered ALL Nuclear Scientists Worldwide? They DO EVIL for a Living! Exterminate The #MAGACrazies!"
"Well," Said Silly Billy... "That's Different... I Guess out here in the Wilds of Middle America People Think Differently Than on the Coasts..."
and they eased on down the road...
and... Pretty Soon they Had Arrived at the Country Club where Jim Fitterling was a Member... Billy Said: "Hey Dude ( Guy Guarding the Entrance) "How do you get a JOB at this Place? Specifically, a Catering Job?"
and the Dude Replied: "Try the D'Alessandro's Catering Services at 801 East Wackerly St, Midland, MI 48642 - Phone: (989) 631-3824 - I've Got Their Card Right Here... Tell 'em Johnny Sent You."
and so the Intrepid Travelers turned around and Drove Over to 8-1 East Wackerly Street...
When they Got to the Caterers office Billy Said: "Hello... I'm Looking for a Job Here... I've Got Years of Work Experience and... Not only can I Prepare and Serve Food but I Can Work as a Bouncer in Case any of the Guests BECOME A MENACE TO SOCIETY."
and The Dude behind the Counter said: "Excellent! It Just So Happens that one of Our Guests Thinks He's God because He's The CEO of DOW. After a few drinks... He Thinks Everybody Ought to Be the Mother of His Children... Even if that's BIOLOGICALY IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Great! I Can Start Today... and I'll Beat Him Like a Piñata! Just Grab a Stick and SWING AWAY!" Said Billy, Silly Willie!
So our Band of Merry Men (and a Merry Woman) went off in search of a Bag of Weed... "Susan said: "Let's Prepare "Magic Oregano" Spaghetti AND Alice B Toklas Brownies! That'll Double the Chance That Mr. "God's Gift to Women" will eat some Cannabis and Have a Religious Experience! Possibly Changing the Future of the World!"
They drove over to the wrong side of the Tracks and Parked the Car... They were Walking down the Street Just a Having a Think when a Snake of a Guy Gave Susan an Evil Wink...
"Hey Dude... Got any Weed?" asked Susan... "We Plan to Open the Doors Of Perception."
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Open the Doors of Perception
gvan42 - Gregory Vanderlaan - Self Portrait |
and the Dude Said: "We Got Everything! I Run a One Stop Drugstore Just Like Walgreens... Except... No Legal Drugs... Go See Them for that!"
"Fantastic! One Ounce of Humboldt's Finest if you Please... Sinsemilla..." Said Bob
"Well, I Do Have a Sinsemilla That was Grown in the Ozarks... They Call it "The Mule" 'cause it Kicks You In The Head!"
"SOLD!" said Everyone... "Gotta Pipe?"
and they Partook the Gift of the Gods...
Susan Said: "Let's Just Bribe the Guy at the Caterers to Put our infused Food on the Table at the Country Club. I Bet he would do it for $500 Dollars..."
Silly Billy Said: "Great Idea! That way we can be OUT OF TOWN When Everything Goes Down... Ya Got Any Money?"
"Well Sure... Ever Since You Showed Me How to Embezzle from the Deutsche Bank Cloud I've Been Rich!" Replied Susan
and they Did the Deed... The Guy at the Catering Service was Totally On Board with their Plan... Especially after Eating a Brownie... They Made Sure that He Understood That They Would be Reading the Midland Newspaper for Evidence that the Crime Had Actually Been Committed. If He Just Ate it all himself... or shared it with his friends... "I'll Be Back!"
and They Eased on Down The Road...
and then Billy asked: "Have You checked to See if the Caterer Actually Served the Infused Spaghetti To The Corporate Elite at Jim Fitterling's Country Club?"
Susan Did Some Research On Her Phone and... NO Evidence of a Wild Party... Nothing! She Said: "Nope, That guy who worked at the Caterers turned out to be a Rat Fink! What do you want to do about that?"
"Well," said Billy "Let's Just Forgive Him for the Time Being. Send him an email reminding him that we KNOW HIS SECRET. Let's Just Publish a HOW TO Manual on the Internet Describing our Plan and Maybe One of the Hundreds of Thousands of Gregory Vanderlaan's Blog will GET 'ER DONE!"
and that's exactly what they Did!
Read the Entire Story at:
or Read any of these fine BLOG POSTS:
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