The Violet Overgrow - An Eco-Warrior's Journey by Gregory Vanderlaan - [ FICTION ]

"The Time Has Come for the Violet Overgrow of the Ruling Class!" Shouted Suzy into the Megaphone.

"Will You Shut The F*CK UP?" said Billy 

"Don't You See That Short Haired Guy Wearing a Wig? He's an Obvious NARC! We Will Get More Done IF We are a Bit More Clandestine from Here on Out."


~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

Disclaimer: This Story is Hopelessly Out of Date: It was Written in 2020... a Dark Time in American History... Thankfully, The American People BANISHED tRUMP to Mar-A-Loser, Florida and Democrats Took Control of The White House, The US House of Representatives and The Senate... 

But It May Become All Too REAL if QAnon Takes the House and They Impeach Biden again and again and again...

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

Chapter Zero: 

"#FRANCE1789 #FRANCE1789" Shouted Suzy into the Megaphone. 

"The EPA=Enable Polluters Agency. Let's Flip The Mission! Bring Back Protection of the Environment! #FRANCE1789 #FRANCE1789"
 
and Everybody Chanted Along... 
"#FRANCE1789... #FRANCE1789..."

They Were at a Protest March in Arcata, CA... Disrupting the Military Industrial Complex... 

Billy Replied: "Oh Susan, You Are Just Preaching to The Choir Here... All These Earth First! People ALREADY Agree With You... Let's Take Our Message to Washington DC and Speak Truth To Power! Let's Go To The Actual EPA and Raise a Ruckus!" 
and So They DID!


The Violet Overgrow - An Eco-Warriors Journey by Gregory Vanderlaan - cover art - gvan42

Billy Started Making Plans for "Storming The Castle" and In His Mind He Remembered Exactly What it Looked Like... He Started Daydreaming... Floating Off Into a Trance... ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM

Trance Inducing Animation by gvan42

Editor's Note: Remember, Secret Messages are Revealed By Hovering on an Image: Move Your Mouse Onto the Picture and Like Magic, Words Appear!

EPA building in Washington DC - Smithsonian Museum of American History - Washington Monument
The EPA Building on the Right
The Smithsonian on the Left.

When He Awoke, He Noticed That Susan Had That Faraway Look in Her Eyes... 

He Said: "Susan, You Have That Faraway Look in Your Eyes... What's Troubling You?"

"Did You Ever Notice That tRUMP'S 'Boogaloo' and Charles Manson's 'Helter Skelter' are THE SAME PLAN? Start a Race War by Having White People Commit Insane Murders and Provide CLUES That Make The Crime Look Like Black People Did It." 

"Well, Yes Susan... There are MANY Similarities Between tRUMP and Manson." Said Billy "Thankfully We Have an Alternative Plan... 'The Violet Overgrow' --- But I Sense That Something Else is Troubling You."

"What Does The Sun Look Like?" Asked Susan... "It's a Valid Question. Since You Can't LOOK At The Sun, It's Difficult To Describe What It LOOKS Like. I Often Lay Awake at Night... Questioning Reality... " 

Billy Replied: "Actually, Susan, You CAN Look at The Sun Without Damaging Your Eyes. On Extremely Smoky Days It Is Possible to Look Directly At It and It Looks Like a Perfect Circle, About the Size of a Quarter Held At Arm's Length. It's an ODD Whitish Orange Red Color. The Smoke Blocks Most of the Sun and so... This is NOT EXACTLY What the Sun Looks Like BUT... It's as Close as We Can Get. With Global Warming Causing Massive Wildfires Here in California... EVERYONE Knows What The Sun Looks Like! And Just by Co-incidence... The MOON Also 
Looks Like a Perfect Circle, About the Size of a Quarter Held At Arm's Length. A Perfect Example of Random Chance... Not a Hint That the Universe is Organized... or anything Like THAT!"


eBook: AMERICA'S BOGUS WARS [Since 1945, The US Military Has Never Defended The Country, Not Even Once] by Gregory Vanderlaan Chapter Zero. Ever since VJ Day (Victory in Japan), All of Our Wars have been Marketing to Sell Weapons for the Military Industrial Complex. One time there was a Need to Defend the Country and The Military Failed Completely. Civilians took down the Airplane in Pennsylvania on 9/11/2001. Frankly Speaking, Can't We Buy Total Failure at a Lower Price? https://gvan42.blogspot.com/2019/07/great-book-americas-bogus-wars-since.html
Photo of The Sun on a SMOKEY Day.

Susan Said: "Oh... I Guess You're Right... Remember Your Uncle George Who Witnessed an Atomic Bomb Explosion When He Was In The Navy? He Said It Had That Same Color."

Billy Replied: "Sure... and He Saw Unidentified Flying Objects Too... Everybody on the Boat Did... But The Captain Told Them: "We Saw Nothing and You Are Never To Talk About This Ever Again."

Susan Said: "I believe that UFOs DO EXIST but the Chances of an Alien Invasion are Remote... There is Just No Need for Trump's Space Force... It's BOGUS!" 


Billy Replied: "Yeah... He's Fighting Off Imaginary Enemies That only Exist in His Diseased Mind. Police Code 5150... "

and Then... Days Later...

Chapter One: 

Billy Awoke One Morning in a Foul Mood... Hungover... and Out of Weed... SO... He Decided to Take ONE Final Action... Since tRUMP's Coronavirus Had Gotten Him Laid Off At Work... and there Was NO One Hiring... He Had Plenty of Time For a Road Trip... So, Off He Went To Washington DC to Perform an EXORCISM at The White House... PAYBACK TIME!

But First... He Had to Do Some Research online about HOW to Build a Homemade Rocket Filled With Napalm... That Could Fly Thru the Air and Blow Up When it Hit A Building and Cause Mayhem...

Susan Said: "Don't Do That Billy... The FBI will Find Out What You Are Searching For on the Internet... and Then Come over Here and Take You Away to One of those Secret Prisons Hidden Deep in the Trinity Alps of California... Why Don't You Read a Good Book Instead?"

and She Handed Billy a Copy of "The Violet Overgrow" [Fiction - Not One Word is True. WINK WINK]

and as Billy Started to Read... The Plot seemed Kinda Familiar... as IF the Author was Able to Read Right Into Billy's MIND... His Innermost Thoughts... and Then when he got to the Part Where he was about to Start His Research online about HOW to Build a Homemade Rocket Filled With Napalm... That Could Fly Thru the Air and Blow Up When it Hit A Building and Cause Mayhem... 

The Character in the Book Named Susan Said: "Don't Do That Billy... The FBI will Find Out What You Are Searching For on the Internet... and Then Come over Here and Take You Away to One of those Secret Prisons Hidden Deep in the Trinity Alps of California... Why Don't You Read a Good Book Instead?"

OMG! I'm Stuck in an Eco-Terrorist Time Trip! - Thought Billy

and She Handed Billy a Copy of "The Violet Overgrow" [Fiction - Not One Word is True. WINK WINK]

and as Billy Started to Read... The Plot seemed Kinda Familiar... as IF the Author was able to read Right Into Billy's MIND... His Innermost Thoughts... Oh No! Not Again!

but then... a Wave of Patriotism Flowed Thru His Body and Billy Decided to ACTUALLY DO the Research, And Actually Build a Home Made Rocket That Explodes When It Hits a Building and Travel to Washington DC... SO... 

He Typed "How To Build a Home Made Napalm Rocket That Explodes When It Hits a Building" into Google and...


At That Instant... Little Timmy of the FBI "Thought Police" Division said... OMG! There's a Patriot out There in East OOGA-Booga That is Planning to Save The Country From Monarchy! Alert the Stormtroopers! Fire UP The Black Helicopters! Start Spreading Camo On Your Face! Alert The Media! It's Showtime!

But Before Little Timmy of the FBI "Thought Police" Division Arrived... Billy Had Gotten in His Truck and Drove On Down the Road... To Safety...  

The First Place He Stopped Was That Secret Spot on the EEL River Just South The Avenue of the Giants Visitors Center. (Near Eureka, CA) - The Garden Club of America Grove...  It Had a Footbridge Over The EEL River about a Quarter Mile Upstream That is Hidden from View... Almost NO ONE Knows It Is There and Once You Walk Over the Bridge... That Part of the World is a HUMAN FREE ZONE... Billy Relaxed a Bit... and Took a Nap... He Was Safe... HUMANS Are Dangerous but the Wild Animals are NO PROBLEM... 


Garden Club of America Grove on the Avenue of the Giants - Humboldt County CA - gvan42

After Spending the Night in the Woods, Billy Decided to Continue His Trip All The Way Across the Country... So He Went South on Highway 101 and then East on Highway 80... Past Lake Tahoe and Reno and Out into the Nevada Desert... Then He Pulled into a Motel 6 and Rested for the Night... He Felt that The FBI Had Lost Interest and Was No Longer Concerned About Him and So He Used His Own Debit Card... The Next Morning He Awoke Bright and Early... or at least Early if Not Exactly "Bright." It Was a Cloudy Day That Morning at the Motel 6...


a Cloudy Day in the Morning at the Motel 6 in Nevada - Photo by gvan42

Soon he Had Traveled All the Way Across Nevada and as Soon as He Passed Wendover... He Was in the Bonneville Salt Flats! He Enjoyed the Mirages WAY Far Away... It Looked Like There Was a Lake Out There... and the Reflections of the Distant Mountains Made a Cigar Shape... 


the Bonneville Salt Flats - Utah - photo by gvan42

But Billy Kept on Driving... Stopping At Dan's Grocery Store in Salt Lake City for Supplies... The Clerks Were Very Friendly and Helpful... After All, Billy Was a White Man... Part of the Tribe... 


Dan's Grocery Store in Salt Lake City - photo by gvan42

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

Shredded Rainbow Spiral Business Cards For Sale.

https://www.zazzle.com/shredded_rainbow_spiral_business_card-256163553649539936 <--- Click on the Link!

Shredded Rainbow Spiral Art for sale as Business Cards on Zazzle gregvan

Link to Spiral Art Painted on Bling: 

Link to Rainbow Art Painted on Bling:

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~
and Then UP The Giant Mountain Behind Salt Lake City... Ignoring the Turnoff to Park City... and Just Drove for Days and Days and Days and Eventually he Arrived at a Friends Home in Manassas, Virginia... There They Assembled the Rocket and Locked it in the Trunk... Under a Blanket... So if Billy and His Friend "K3" Ever Got Stopped by the Porkers... Maybe the Inspection of the Car would Over Look The Weapon...

They Drove Down Highway #66... and As They Approached the Potomac River... Things Started to Look Familiar... There was the Kennedy Center on the Left and The Lincoln Memorial on the Right...


Route 66 Crossing the Potomac into Washington DC

and Down Constitution Ave and They Took a Left Hand Turn Onto The Ellipse... 


Left Turn onto the Ellipse off Constitution Ave in Washington DC

But He Found That The Road Was Blocked! As A Matter of Fact, a Giant Wall Surrounds the White House on All Sides... This EXORCISM is Going to Be More Difficult Than Originally Planned... SO... He Turned Around and Drove Back towards the River on Constitution Ave... He Needed to Take Some Time to THINK! So He Parked Next to The Einstein Statue and... 

Einstein Statue on Constitution Ave at 22nd Street Washington DC

As He Gazed Upon the Great Man... He Realized That There Were MANY TARGETS... But He Still Preferred The White House... Maybe If He Approached the Target From The North... So He Drove Over to 16th Street and "H" Street... Now Called "Black Lives Matter" Boulevard... Right Next To Lafayette Park... and Easy Walk to the White House... 

Black Lives Matter Street - right next to Lafayette Park in Washington DC

After All... tRUMP Walked It So He Could Do A Photo OP Holding a Copy of "1984" by George Orwell... A Part of tRUMP's Read a Book Campaign 

1984 by George Orwell - Prop for tRUMP Photo OP - MEME - gvan42

As Time Passed Billy and "K3" Lost Their Enthusiasm for Their Plan to Firebomb the White House with a Rocket... It's Just too Well Fortified... That Giant Wall All The Way Around Reminded Them Of The GREEN ZONE in Baghdad... 

New Wall Around the White House in Washington DC
New Wall Around the White House in Washington DC

Take a Break from this Story and 
Visit my Free Coloring Book Page on Wordpress....
https://purple64ets.wordpress.com/2020/10/08/gvan42-free-coloring-book-print-as-many-copies-as-you-like-and-share-with-friends-big-fun-for-the-whole-family/
and now Back to the Story...

"K3" Said: "Let's Make a Different Plan... Why Don't We Ask For Local Advice? Those Bureau of Land Management Protesters Seem To Have a Plan for The Violet Overgrow of the Military Industrial Complex... or Something! Sir or Madam... What Are You BLM Protesters Doing Here? Do You Need Any Help? What ARE The Land Management Issues You Seem to Care So Much About?"

and they Said: "WTF! BLM Stands For Black Lives Matter! and NO... We Don't Need Your Help... What We Need Is For The POLICE to Stop Murdering Unarmed Black Men! THAT'S What We Need!"

At That Moment... UP Drove Susan (Remember Susan? This is a Story About Susan)  in a Cab... "Guys! Guys! Over Here!" I've Come to VOLUNTEER! and They All Started Singing and Dancing That Jefferson Airplane Song Right There in the Middle of "H" Street! (Now Called Bureau of Land Management Blvd)




and Then Billy Said: "Thanks For Appearing at Just the Right Time... Those BLM Protesters Were Starting to Get UGLY! I Was Concerned That They Might FREAK OUT! Where Have You Been All This Time? I Thought You Were Safe at Home in Arcata, CA... "

and Susan Said: "How Could I Let You Have All The FUN? I Just Took an Airplane to Reagan National Airport and Rode the Metro over Here... Say... Weren't You Going to Visit the Enable Polluters Agency?"

and Billy Took a Deep Breath and Said: "No, YOU wanted to Visit the EPA... That was YOUR Goal... MY Goal was to Shoot a Rocket into the White House and Set It on Fire With Napalm. Similar Goals but Slightly Different."

and then Susan Said: "Don't Do That! You Are Sure to Get Arrested and Have to Spend Decades in a Secret Government Prison in the Trinity Alps... Why Not Read a Good Book Instead?" and She Handed Him a Copy of... You Guessed It... "The Violet Overgrow" [Fiction - Not One Word is True. Wink Wink]

"K3" Said: "Why Don't We Take a Break? All This Madness is Driving Me Crazy! Let's Find Some Legal Weed and Go to the Air and Space Museum..."

and then "K3" Continued: "Dear BLM Protester, Would You Like to Buy a Napalm filled Rocket? It Flies Through The Air and Explodes when It Hits a Building... CHEAP! Only 5 Easy Payments of $19.99 - Deep Discount for CASH... A Portrait of Benjamin Franklin... and It's YOURS!"

The BLM Protester Said: "SURE! I'd Love to Buy Your Rocket... I Can Sell That to a Crack Dealer I Know in South East for a Thousand!"

"K3" Said: "Here You Go... ENJOY! By The Way... WHY Would They Want Such a Weapon?"

and The BLM Protester Said: "So They Can Burn Down Their Competition's Crack House... Monopolize The Market! Become King of South East!

and That's What They Did!

Air and Space Museum Washington DC

"Look! There is a Parking Space Right in front of That Bus!" They All Shouted at the Same Time... 


and Then they Went In... To Watch That Classic Movie "The Dream is Alive" Featuring Shuttle Astronaut (with the Amazing Zero Gravity Floating Hair) Kathryn Sullivan at the IMAX Theater...

"K3" Said: "What if We Used a Technological Weapon at the White House Instead of Burning it Down? I Remember There Was Some Research We Did Years Ago  Into a SONIC Device That Would Drive "The Enemy" Insane and Also Cause Them to Sh*T Their Pants... It Was Basically a Loudspeaker That Played an 8 Hz Sine Wave at 140 dB... As Everyone Knows... Super Bass Drives You Crazy... Notice That Technique Used in What They Call RAP "Music" - It Automatically Makes People Angry."

Susan Said: "Great Idea! Let's Go To Our Friendly Neighborhood Radio Shack and Get the Parts Required to Build Such a Device..." 

and Off They Went to The Mall at Manassas...   Hopefully They Had an 18" Woofer in Stock... OR MAYBE TWO! "K3" already owned an Ancient Korg Synthesizer That Was Able to Create That Especially Low Frequency Note... They Could Simply Play the Note REALLY LOUD and Point The Speaker At The White House From a Location on 16th Street & "H" Street (Now called Black Lives Matter Blvd) ... Everyone In That Area Would GO CRAZY! Including All The Employees at The White House, The Old Executive Office Building and Blair House. MASS PANIC! But NO EFFECT at The Old Ebbit Grill... They Would Be Safe!


8 Hz Sonic Disruption Weapon - causes anger and insanity - gvan42


after they spent the afternoon building a portable synthesizer system into the trunk of "K3" car... 

Sonic Weapon Built into the Trunk of a Car - Two 18 Inch Woofers - gvan42


"K3" Said: Let's Go Commit Our Eco-Warrior Action AT THE PENTAGON! That's The One Place in the World Where the Security Cameras FAIL... after all, There are No Photographs of an Airplane Crashing on 9/11/2001. We'll be Totally UNTRACEABLE."
And Suzy Said: "Great Idea... We Certainly Don't Want to be FILMED!"
and So they all agreed to test it at the Pentagon... In Northern Virginia... They Could Park in an Employee Parking Lot and Face the Car Away from the Pentagon... Open the Trunk... and Place the Two 18" Woofers against some pillows... No Real Need for Speaker Enclosures... Just Use The Entire Back of the Car to Direct the Sound...

Pentagon Parking Lot - Northern Virginia

 
 "K3" Stretched His Fingers and Started Plying the Close Encounters Theme... Do Do Do Do DUH... and When He Hit the Last Note... He Pushed the Hold Button so the Note would play Forever and Turned UP The Resonance on the Band Pass Filter... and Turned the Knob Controlling the Center Point Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, Down Past the Threshold of Human Hearing... and... While Keeping an Eye on the Frequency Counter... The Note Went Past 40Hz and Slid Down to Exactly EIGHT CYCLES PER SECOND... and Then... All of A Sudden... ALL THE AUTOMOBILE BURGLAR ALARMS WENT OFF!

And Susan Started Screaming! "AAAH, AAAAAH, AAAOOOUUUEEEE, AEIOU  EIEIO!"

Susan Said: "Stop, Stop, Stop. This Entire Plan Is Insane! Let's GTFO! Before all those Soldiers Come Out... and Lock Us Up in a Secret Military Prison Hidden Deep in the Trinity Alps!"

Billy Hugged Her and Said in a Soothing Voice: "Relax Susan, It's All In Your Head... The Fear Frequency is Causing You To FREAK OUT! I Feel it TOO But... I Knew It was Coming and Used a Jedi Mind Trick to Refuse To Accept ARTIFICIAL MIND PANIC... Intentionally Focus Your Attention on a Pleasant Memory and The MADNESS HAS NO POWER OVER YOU."

Susan Said: "OK... I'll Remember that Sunny Day We Were Swimming Nude in Butte Creek... When We Were First Dating... and How It Felt Like We Were Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden."

Billy Said: "Good Plan... I Remember that Day... I Swam the Butterfly Across the Lake Splashing as Much as I Could... I Hoped to Impress You... After All, You WERE a Surfer Girl..."

and they both said: "AHHHH..." 

and Then "K3" Said: "Wait a Moment. Let Me Engage the Vocoder... It's Time to Imprint The Soldiers With a Post Hypnotic Suggestion... Behavior Modification Engage!"

and Then The Synthesizer Noise was Modulated By Human Speech... A Similar Effect to The Doors - Strange Days (Official Video) or the Peter Frampton's Song "Do You Feel Like We Do?" - You Know... That "Talking Guitar" Thing!

and The Synth "Said" - "Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, #FRANCE1789 - Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, #FRANCE1789 - Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, Go AWOL, #FRANCE1789"

"K3" Said: "My Work Here is Finished... Let's GTFO!"

and they Drove South On Highway 95 Towards Florida... Disney World and EPCOT... 

Billy Said: "Let's Stop at a Motel and Watch the Evening News. We'll Use Susan's Credit Card So We Do Not Create a Pattern of Purchases That The FBI Can Trace... and... I want to Do This Again on the Banks of the Potomac in Alexandria. The Sound will be able to be Heard over at DARPA Headquarters on Bolling Air Force Base and all the Way to Georgetown... THAT Should FREAK "The Man" OUT..."

"K3" Said: "Great Idea... How's This Motel Thing Gonna Work Out? Three People, One Room..."

Billy Said: "We'll Just Make a Susan Sandwich... No Problem... Right Honey Bunny?"

Susan Said: "Sure Thing, Pumpkin..."

So They Checked Into The No-Tell Motel and...

[The Rest of this Chapter Has Been Redacted
 - Community Standards -
and... 
 I Do Not Want to Go to a Secret Prison
In the Trinity Alps of California...

Chapter Two:
Susan Turned on The TV and... The Announcer Said... 
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,[Except Blacks and Women] that they are endowed by their Creator [Named Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, Odin, Thor, KRSNA, Buddha or a Thousand Other Names] with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”[Unless your Pursuit uses Marijuana or Psychedelics as a Sacrament] - DANG... So Many Disclaimers... Was This Written by a Freaking Lawyer? "

 He Shook His Head in Disgust and Then Said:

"Welcome To Mugwump's Adventures of an Average Family Living a Standard Life... Brought to You By MugWump's Magic Mushrooms! True Enlightenment in Every Bite!

Billy, Unimpressed,  Changed the Channel and... The TV Said: POW! ZING! Ka Blooey! It's the Murder Mystery Channel... All Gore All the Time... and Tonight: "Blue Cheese Gone Bad!"

Still Looking for Something Worthy He Changed The Channel Again: "Smoking Weed In Little Vietnam... alongside Highway 17 in Los Gatos, CA"

and Then: Do the Math: a silly story… Absurdist Fiction! Not one word is True... [wink, wink]

and Then: Allah and Moe Were Drinking a Beer at The Mecca Bar and Grill When Suddenly...


and Then on Free Speech TV: How to Disrupt the Military Industrial Complex. A Step by Step Guide to the Violet Overgrow of the US Government. 

and Then On PBS World: #FRANCE1789 The Violet Overgrow is Coming. The Failure of the Ruling Class Is Obvious. Join Us at The White House for an EXORCISM... Bring a Whistle! Trump Loves Whistle Blowers!

Billy Said: "There is Nothing ON!" and He Picked up His Shotgun and Blew a Hole Right in the TV Tube...

Ed Abbey - Author of The Monkeywrench Gang

"Oh Great!" Said Susan "Now How are We Gonna See Ourselves on the Evening GNUs???"


"Don't Worry... Well Watch it in the Bar..." Said "K3"

They Walked Over to The Bar and... at that instant "K4" (Ken's Son) Called on the Phone and Said: "Did You See Yourself on the NEWS? It's the #1 Story... Wild Speculation of an Alien Invasion... Everybody is Now Calling for a Budget Increase for tRUMP'S Space Force... There is a Belief that Aliens are Going to Invade the USA and Everybody Has a Feeling of PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! --- OOPS! That Isn't What You Have Hoped to Happen... Was It? Anyway, I Want To Join You! Where are You?"

and "K3" Said: "Kenny, are You Surrounded by FBI Agents Right Now? Is THAT The Reason You Want To Know Where We Are?"

"Of Course... There are Eight of them Sitting Around our Dining Room Table Right Now... and Little Timmy of the Thought Police is Their Leader..." Said "K4"

WHACK! Went a Fist into "K4's" Face... WHACK WHACK!

"I Told You Not To Reveal Our Home Invasion Until AFTER You Found Out Where The Eco-Terrorists Were..." Said Little Timmy... "And You Blew Our Secret Mission!"

"Well, It Wasn't Really Very Difficult For Dad to Guess That I Was Being Held Hostage... My Behavior was Totally Out of Character... I NEVER Want to Join in any of Dad's "Reindeer Games! You Made me Sound Like Rudolph The Red! " Said "K4"

"Hand the Phone to Little Timmy. I've Got a Few Things To Say to Him... " Said "K3" 

[This Rest of This Conversation Redacted - Community Standards]

Billy Said: "We Better GTFO! Let's Drive over to The Headquarters of The Earth Liberation Front Headquarters... No One in Lawn Farcement Knows Where their Secret Hideout Is!" 

and they Jumped in the Car and Drove off... and Surprisingly they ended up at a Mansion in McLean Virginia...

"Ding Dong" said the Doorbell... 

The Scruffy Man Who Answered the Door Let them in and Immediately they went to the Basement... "No One is Allowed Upstairs in this House... My Grandfather Owns Many Priceless Antiques and We ALL Will Be in Trouble is any of them Got Broken... and That Is My Brother's Room... He's in there Playing Dungeons and Dragons With His Friends... They Won't Bother You... " Said "Fred" (not his real name) - "What Brings You To My Pit of Endless Depravity, Virginia?"

"K3" Said: We're looking for a Linear Amplifier for a CB Radio... Since You Have Your Fingers in Many Different Crime Syndicates, We Thought of You... and We Had to Get Away From The Man.  We just Played an Absurdist Concert at The Pentagon... Spreading FEAR and INSANITY Among the Soldiers..."

Fred Said: "Sure, Let Me Make Some Phone Calls... I'll Be Right Back... Feel Free to Play With any of My Toys... You'll Probably Enjoy this Antique Synthesizer... It Was made in Japan Before The Dawn of Time... as a Matter of Fact, That's one of the Pre-Programmed Patches - The Dawn of Time Sound Effect!"

"Yeah, It's Great" Said Greg.
 
They Hadn't Paid much Attention to The Guy Sitting in  a Corner Reading a Book... He Looked Really Spaced Out and They Were Surprised to hear Him Say Anything. 

"What are You Reading?" asked Susan. 

"The Biography of Alfred Hitchcock... The Dark Side of Genius." said Greg.

"OH" Said Susan." Bored, She Turned Away,  and Asked "K3" "Why Do We Want a Linear Amplifier for a CB Radio?"

"That Way We Can Force Our Message To Everyone Using Any Electronic Device That Has Any Kind of Audio Output... Including The Microphones at the US Senate... Imagine What Would Happen to #MoscowMitch if He Was Talking on the Senate Floor and MY VOICE came out on TV... The CB Signal is so Powerful That It Creeps Into The Wires Connecting ANY Equipment and Distorts Any Music or Speech That is Being Played... Creepy!" Said "K3" "You've Heard It at My House When a Trucker Drives By... You Hear Weird Voices Talking... Saying '10-4 Good Buddy' and Other Pointless YADDA -YADDA... Sometimes Those Truck Drivers Really Are Babylon Sisters... They Babble On and On and On... "

Fred Returned... "I Found What You Wanted... Let's GO! It's All The Way Out in Winchester, Virginia at That Jesus Freak Cult... Remember Lumpy the Biker? He's Got One..."

TIME PASSED... A FEW DAYS LATER THEY HAD IT ALL BUILT AND WERE READY TO DEPLOY THE CB RADIO WITH A LINEAR... 

As They Approached the US Capitol, They Looked for a Good Place to Park... Where They Would Not be Stopped by "The Man" 
An Excellent Parking Spot on 3rd Street South East Near The Folger Shakespeare Library - gvan42
An Excellent Parking Spot on 3rd Street South East 
Near The Folger Shakespeare Library

"K3" Started Keying the Microphone... To Send Out a Signal... DOT DOT DOT DASH DASH DASH DOT DOT DOT... He Keyed "SOS" In Morse Code... 

Susan Had the TV in the Back of the Car Tuned to C-SPAN and Sure Enough... There Were "Technical Difficulties" and #MoscowMitch WAS Unable to Continue His Speech... 

Then "K3" Started Speaking into the Microphone... but Susan said: "Give Me That! I've Been Very Patient With You Guys BUT NOW IT'S MY TURN! 

Clearing Her Throat So She Could Be Understood... "tRUMP's EPA=Enable Polluters Agency." Shouted Suzy into the Microphone. "Let's Flip The Mission! Bring Back Protection of the Environment! #FRANCE1789" and She Repeated Herself Many Times!

"OK, Let's GTFO!" Said Susan "I've Got an Idea... Let's Take a Break and Do Something FUN! We Have to Avoid Contact With The Authorities and a GREAT Way to Do That is Whitewater Rafting on the Shenandoah River... This CB Radio Antenna Will Blend In With The Locals... No One Will Suspect a Thing!"

and They Cruised on Down The Road... Out Highway 66 and then on Number 211 to LURAY, Virginia... 

Map of White Water Rafting on the Shenandoah River

They First stopped at the World Famous Luray Caverns... and Marveled at the Stalactite Pipe Organ that Played the Song Shenandoah... 

and then Down The River Past Harpers Ferry... It Was a gentle Ride and That Took Their Minds off EcoTerrorism... Because, The Environment in the Shenandoah Valley is IDEAL! and On A Beautiful Day, It's Difficult The Believe the Outside World Exists... 

They Got Out of the Water and Toured the Famous Armory... Where during the Civil War, The North Made Rifles... Giving Them an Advantage over The South... Because a Rifle Bullet Can Travel Farther Than a Musket Ball... and so... A Rifleman Could Stand OUT OF RANGE and Kill His Opponent... THAT'S Why John Brown Wanted This Place! 

"Gee, I Didn't Know That!" Said Billy "I Just Thought John Brown Was Famous For Being on the Album Cover for The Rock Band KANSAS!" 


Susan Said: "Since We Are Right Here, Let's Go Visit Randy! He's Got That Farm in West Virginia Where they Have Those Rock Concerts on the Weekend."

So They Drove Up To a Remote Location and... The Dogs Started Barking Wildly... Six Doberman Pinchers and a Poodle Surrounded their Car... Randy Came out Holding a Shotgun and Said: "Oh It's You... DOGS STAND DOWN!"

Billy Said: "How is it Going? Are You Still Doing "Hillbilly Genetic Engineering" on Weed?"

"Yes I Am... and You are Just In Time To Sample the Latest Life Form! I Call It "The Mule" 'cause It Kicks You in the Head..." said Randy... "I found the Engineering Plans on the Internet on a "What If" Website... Check It Out!"

What IF We Built a Radioactive Ant Farm with Magic Mushroom and Cannabis Roots? Would a DIFFERENT SPECIES OF ANT EVOLVE? GODZILLA?

At an Existing Anthill, Throw some Radioactive Americium-241 from a Smoke Detector Down the Hole... Then Plant some Psilocybin and Amanita Muscaria Mushrooms Nearby so the Mycelium (roots) Grow Throughout The Colony ... and a Ring of Cannabis Plants with Their Roots Intermingling as Well. The Ants Could Eat the Fruiting Bodies of the Mushrooms and The Pollen, Leaves and Flowers from the Kind Bud (Marijuana). As We Have Learned in Chernobyl, Some Fungus Thrives on Radioactive Waste... REALLY! It would be best if We Just Left the Plants and Animals Alone and Came Back once a Year to See What Happens... Definitely, allow Both the Male and Female Marijuana Plants to Grow and Produce seeds... NO Sinsemilla Farming Technique! Do That Somewhere ELSE. OF COURSE, You Could use Atomic Waste from an Abandoned Power Plant BUT That would be VERY Dangerous... Illegal... and a Menace to Society... What IF That Radioactive Waste got into the drinking water? 

If this Ant Farm Works, We Ought to Create One Near the Abandoned Atomic Waste Surrounding All Those Nuclear Power Plants... Diablo Canyon, San Onofre, TMI, Humboldt Bay...  The Hanford Site in Eastern Washington State, Nevada Test Site, Los Alamos, Tennessee... etc etc etc... and Definitly Rocketdyne Test Facility near Los Angeles (the one that burned to the ground During a Wildfire)... 


drawing of a mushroom - Free Coloring Book - gvan42 - Gregory Vanderlaan
drawing of a mushroom - Free Coloring Book - gvan42


"Wow" Said Susan... "That Might Be Interesting! Let's Smoke Some." 

and she went into a Dream World... She Imagined That She was in an OCCUPATION of 555 California Street, San Francisco. She Remembered that Donald Trump Owned 30% of that Building... and That He Was Having TROUBLE Collecting the Rent... Because EVERYONE WAS FLEEING SAN FRANCISCO due to The Coronavirus and There Was an Excess of Office Space... Many People were Working from Home on their own Computers and... Frankly Speaking, If There was a Great FIRE and the building BURNED TO THE GROUND... Trump Would Collect More from The Insurance Company Than The Building was Worth... So That's Why People Were Staging an OCCUPATION... No One Could Commit ARSON While People Were Inside... It's the Same Philosophy as Tree Sitters used In Humboldt County To Protect The Redwoods!

555 California Street San Francisco, CA - a Trump Building - HEY ANARCHISTS - This is OUR Bastille - purple64ets

and then The Mushrooms wore off and she realized that she was in West Virginia on a Farm... 

"Hey! I Gotta make a Phone Call... and Tell "Red" Sonya To Organize a Protest! OCCUPY 555 California Street, SF, CA!"

and Then... Susan's Phone Rang! It Was "Red" Sonya... "I Was Just Thinking About You..." Said "Red" Sonya... "Did You See On The News That The US Senate Confirmed "Back to the Coathanger" Amy Barrett to Be a Supreme Court Justice? I Thought You Were Going to Prevent That From Happening Using Your Techno Weapons."

"Well, We Failed at that BUT... We Can Lead the "IMPEACH AMY" Movement... Hey Guys... Vacation's Over... We Are Needed in Washington, DC!" said Susan.

and they loaded up the truck and started Driving OUT of the Mountains of West Virginia and Down Highway #270 Thru Gaithersburg, Rockville and Silver Spring, Maryland... and then South on #29 Until It Becomes 6th Street NW... Took a Left on Pennsylvania Ave and Then Constitution Ave and a Right on First Street ARRIVING AT THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES... 

OCCUPY SCOTUS meme - Google Maps Streetview on First Street Washington DC - Protest March at the Supreme Court Building

"Activate the Sonic Weapon! Said Susan... 

"Uh, In a Minute... I Gotta find a Place to Park." Said Fred...

"Fred? How Did YOU Get into This Story?" asked Susan...

"Uh, I've Been Here All Along But I'm a Kinda Quiet Guy... You Might Have Not Noticed Reality... and Missed Me... What With Loudmouths Like Billy and "K3" and all those Brand GNU Psychedelics You've Been Smoking..." Said Fred... "Oh Look, Here is a Spot! Open the Trunk and Engage Cosmic Freakout!"

and the Sound went Down Down Down Past the Range of Human Hearing... Dogs Started Barking... Cats Starts Howling... Car Alarms Went Off... and The People Walking Around and Around The Supreme Court Building with Protest Signs Started Dancing as If They Had Taken a Prescription Drug Advertised on TV or Bought Plastic Crap from Wayfair! ECSTATIC DANCING! 

"You Know What We Really Need These Days?" asked Fred "A Group Like the Weather Underground! Where are Those Bomb Throwing Anarchists Now That We Really Need Them? OH, My Phone is Ringing... I'll Be Right Back."

and Fred Answered the Phone... It Was "Unknown Caller" from the Techno Pop Group "Lads Gone Native" - "I Hear You Need Some Help... Maybe a Little ____ _________ ________ _____ ? Well We Can Help You! Come on Out to Our Secret Hideout and Let's Get Ready To RUMBLE!"

Fred Shook His Head... "How Did He KNOW?"

When the Got to the Secret Hideout... They Were Introduced to "Louis Ritz" - a Fellow that worked in the Computer Industry But HAS NO DATA on Google Search... A Real Live Boy but TOTALLY UNKNOWN TO THE HIVE MIND... and So, a Perfect Person to Play the Part of "The Sniper" in a FICTION STORY... [Disclaimer - No I Have Never Googled Untraceable Poison on the Computer at the Library using the Screen Name "John Smith" - You'll Have to Ask John Smith About That] 

So "Louis Ritz" (Slogan - there is only one Ritz) took an Uber over to The POV Bar... a Place That Has a Rooftop Bar Overlooking the White House... A Perfect Location for a Sniper... or Someone Who Wants to Relax and Have a Frosty Beverage While Admiring the View... at 515 15th Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20004 
 
POV Bar and Grill at 515 15th St NW, Washington, DC 20004

Obviously "Louis Ritz" was Interested in Frosty Beverages... Or At Least That's What He Would Say if Confronted by any "Men in Black." 
View of the White House from The Bar Called POV Rooftop in Washington DC
View of the White House from The Bar 
Called POV Rooftop.

On this Visit, "Louis Ritz" Was Doing Research... and Getting "Sh*tFaced" on Booze... Next Time He Came Here He Would Be Working as a Waiter... and Have Access to The Actual Roof... Where he Would Set Up His Sniper Nest... So He Bribed The Waiter and Was Shown the Ladder to The Roof... and For an Extra $100.00 Get the Key... Hey, a Waiter Has to Earn a Living Somehow... and With Plausible Deniability... Sure, Here's The Key... Have Fun...

Time Passed [What else would time do?] and "Louis Ritz" applied for a Job at the Recording Connection Audio Institute... a Business that Shares the Same Roof as the POB Bar and Grill and the Same Excellent Sniper Position... The Plan to Pretend to Be a Waiter Was Cancelled Because an Old Fat White Man would Never PASS for Being a Waiter... Now SOUND Engineer? Sure... He Had "That Look!" 

How Far is it From the POV Rooftop Bar and Grill to the White House? MAP: 700 to 1,100 Feet.
Before Applying for this Job, He Calculated to See If The White House Was Within Range of a Sniper's Rifle. YES, IT IS! It's Between 700 and 1,100 Feet to the White House and Snipers Can Shoot 600 Meters (1969 Feet) Easily... Sometimes MUCH MORE! All Systems GO! Full Speed Ahead!

Satellite View of The Bar Called POV Rooftop. Near the White House.
Satellite View of The Bar Called POV Rooftop. 
Near the White House. Revealing the Names of All the Businesses Nearby... Thanks, Google Maps... That's a Great Feature: "NEARBY"

Later That Week "Louis Ritz" Climbed up onto the Roof of the POV Bar and Grill at the Same time as a Super Spreader Event in the Rose Garden. He Who Shall Not Be Named was Holding a Celebration for the Next Supreme Court Judge's Confirmation... After He Appointed Brat Kava Kava Noogie and "Back to the Coathanger" Amy... The NEXT Appointment was Rude Julie Anna... who somehow had NOT lost his License to Practice Law... AMAZING... So... "Louis Ritz" raised the Sniper Rifle and Put His Eye to the Scope and... as He was About to Pull the Trigger... 

His Head was Blown OFF! 

The Secret Service Has Snipers of their Own and THEY SHOT FIRST! No Hesitation. No Wondering IF They Were Doing The Right Thing. No Pondering the Consequences. Just Shoot First RIGHT NOW! It was a Surprise to "Louis Ritz" But NOT a Surprise to Those Men Standing On the Top of the White House... They Routinely Check ALL the Buildings Nearby The White House... As a Matter of Fact, The Waiter at the POV Rooftop SOLD OUT "Louis Ritz" for $500.00 - Yep, Information is VERY Valuable to The Secret Service... That's Exactly How to Play the Game in Big Time Washington DC... Get Both Sides to Pay... and Become a Double Triple Secret Agent...

When Billy and Suzy Found Out that their Friend was dead... They Decided to GTFO! "This isn't a Joke anymore." Said Billy "Let's GTFO!" and That's Exactly What they Did... They Hopped in the Car and Drove West on Highway #66... Singing... "If You Ever Plan to Motor West... Take My Way, It's The Highway That's the Best... Get Your Kicks on Route #66" 

"Did You Know That Song was Written About a Totally Different Road?" asked Suzy... "Listen to The Words... It Goes from Chicago to LA... 2,000 Miles along the Way..."

"Who Cares? Exclaimed Billy "We're Young, Alive, In Love and Driving in a Convertible Car! Life Doesn't Get any Better Than This!"

"You're Right." Sighed Suzy... "Let's Drop off "K3" at His House in Manassas, VA and then Eat That Psychedelic Called IT290... Just Like Ken Kesey Did on the Magic Bus Trip... Coming BACK from New York City... It's Great for Lovers... A Peaceful Trip"

THE END! or is Just the Beginning of a New Adventure? 

Anyway... The World Was Safe For Democracy Again...  Until Next Week... Stay Tuned, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

Hey NSA Employees... and FBI Agents... This is all just an amusing hobby of mine - writing ABSURDIST FICTION - No Need to Come Visit Me...
Hey NSA Employees... and FBI Agents... 
This is All Just an Amusing Hobby of Mine - Writing ABSURDIST FICTION - No Need 
to Come Visit Me... at 527 B-1 Wilson Bridge 
Drive, Oxon Hill, Maryland... an Easy 
Commute to Downtown Washington DC... 
and NO, I Don't Plan to ___________ 
_________ _____. After All, Joe Biden 
Won the 2020 Election and Trump Will Be INCARCERATED SOON... 
Unless He Flees The Country and Goes to 
Live in Moscow... In That Case... 
I Hope The Russian Mafia Forgives Him 
For Defaulting On Loans... 

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

PART TWO: "Doing Evil for Money - A Novel" 
Doing Evil for Money - a Novel --- creepy eye on the back of the dollar bill - gvan42 - Gregory Vanderlaan - Preface: I Have Had Personal Experience Working as a Defense Contractor Designing Equipment for the Air Force. By Accident I Got Laid off and the Next Job was for the United States Postal Service... Designing Machines for Sorting Mail and Vending Stamps... I Felt a Lot Happier DOING GOOD WITH MY LIFE instead of DOING EVIL. Making Weapons is Fundamentally Unsatisfying... What if My Stuff Actually Got Used? HOWEVER... It Was High Pay and so I Gladly Did Evil for Money... Most People Would... I Had a Wife and a Mortgage and was what was Called a Yuppie... Soon to Be Divorced and We Sold the House and That was Freeing... Believe it or Not, During the Late 1970s I Had DOUBTS About My Hippie Values... What IF We Were Wrong During the Sixties?   and I Was a Stranger in a Strange Land. The Only Californian Living and Working in McLean, Virginia... Everyone Else I Knew Had No Doubt At All about Working for the Military Industrial Complex... They Were All "East Coast" People... Even that Math Wizard that Seemed to Have No Tasks at Work... He Had a Decorative Box on His Coffee Table at Home Filled With Marijuana... Even He Was Not Concerned With War and Peace...


Chapter Zero: A Continuation of

"The Violet Overgrow: An Eco-Warrior's

Journey" 

They Were Motoring West on Route 66 When

Susan Said: "Check This Out... I'm 

Reading this Website and The Guy 

Says: "We hold these truths to be 

self-evident, that all men are created 

equal, [Except Blacks and Women] 

that they are endowed by their Creator 

[Named Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, Odin, Thor, 

KRSNA, Buddha or a Thousand 

Other Names] with certain unalienable 

Rights, that among these are Life, 

Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

[Unless your Pursuit uses Marijuana 

or Psychedelics as a Sacrament] - 

DANG... So Many Disclaimers... Was 

This Written by a Freaking Lawyer? 

Pretty Damn Insightful... Ya Think?"

Billy Answered: " I Don't Worry About Stuff

Like That. Being a White Male, All That

Discrimination Talk is Not Interesting to Me.

It's Like Rap Music... Endless Complaining

About How Life SUCKS For Black People...

Valid, True, Accurate BUT... I Just Couldn't

Care Less..."

and they Eased on Down the Road...  

"You Know What I'd Like to Do? Asked Billy

"I'd Like to Feed the CEO of Dow Chemical a

Couple of Cannabis Cookies and See if It's

Possible to FLIP THE SCRIPT of His Life from

DOING EVIL FOR MONEY to Doing Good For

The Planet!"

"Ok" Said Susan... His House is Right on the

Way... about a Thousand Miles Ahead... 

and they Eased on Down the Road... 

"Since You've Got Google on that Phone...

Find out Who It Is..."

"It's Jim Fitterling.." Said Susan... "and Here

are Directions To His Country Club... The

Midland Country Club at 1120 W St Andrews

Rd, Midland, Michigan... Thank You Google

maps..."

"Next Stop, Where the Thumb Meets the

Index Finger in 'It's a Mitten', Michigan!" Said

Billy.

Location of the Midland Country Club in "It's a Mitten Michigan" - Google Maps - gvan42

Untitled - None of Your Freaking Beeswax - NARC
Map to the Villain's Lair... 

Then Billy Said: "Susan, You've Got That 
Faraway Look In Your Eye... What are You 
Wondering About?"

And Susan Replied: "I've always questioned
what was happening BEFORE the Big Bang.
Did Gravity Cause the Universe to Collapse
into One Unstable point That Subsequently
Blew UP? Was Our Big Bang One of Billions
of Big Bangs? Stretching Back through time...
Forever and Ever... Amen?"

Billy Said: "Well, We'll Never Know the Answer 
To That One, But... "

and at That Moment a Fully Loaded Logging 
Truck Blew Its Horn! HOOOONNNNKKKK! 
Billy, Lost in thought, had drifted over the 
Center Line on the Road and was Headed for 
a Fatal Car Crash... at The Very The Last 
Moment He Swerved and Saved All Three of 
Their Lives! 

"Thank God You Didn't Run Head on into that 
Fully Loaded Logging Truck. Said Susan... 
"That's a Little Reminder that REALITY EXISTS 
No Matter What You Believe."

"Let's Go to an AA Meeting on the Way to The 
Evil One's Lair." Said Billy. "This Near Death 
Experience has Given Me a Great Desire for a 
Drink... and When I Have a Great Desire for a 
Drink, I Go to an AA Meeting... "

"OK, I'll Look Up a Schedule for a Nearby 
Meeting... BINGO! Here's One in the Town of 
Springfield. Right Next to The Legendary Four 
Corners... Where the States of California, 
Rhode Island, Minnesota, Colorado and New 
Mexico Meet." Said Susan...

and they drove on down the road... and Pulled 
into the Parking Lot... They Spotted that 
Familiar Circle and Triangle Symbol and All of 
a Sudden... They Felt at Home... They Shook 
Hands and Got a Cup of Coffee, Had a Seat... 

Circle and Triangle Symbol - Logo of Alcoholics Anonymous - feel free to print this and Color Using Felt Pens or Pencils... Gregory Vanderlaan



After a Half Hour Billy Said: "Hello: My Name 
is Greg and I'm an Alcoholic."

"Hello Greg." said Everybody... 

Billy Said: "I Never Use My Real Name Except 
Here... Here I Can Tell the Truth About 
Everything. I've Been Exploring Self Hypnosis 
as an Alternative to Drug Abuse. For Example: 
This Animation... It's a Dancing Mugwump! 
I believe That I Can Get Even Higher That I Got 
on Psychedelics... Maybe I'm Wrong but I'm 
Just Too Damn Old For Chemicals... "

quest a psychedelic animated gif by gvan42quest a psychedelic animated gif by gvan42


And Then Little Timmy of the FBI Thought 
Crimes Division Quietly Stood Up and Walked 
Out to The Parking Lot... To Get Better 
Cellphone Reception... Supposedly... He Said 
into the Phone: "Honey Bunny, Get Me Major 
Wanker of GCHQ."

The Phone made a lot of Beeps and Boinks and 
then Major Wanker Was on the Line... All the 
Way From England!

Little Timmy Said: "Sir We Have Located Him... 
He's Right Here in the Four Corners Area of the 
USA."

and Major Wanker Said: 
"*#$%@#*&^%^!@#$**%
**^$#**&^%$!#&:" 
Because at That Very Moment 
Their Scrambler 
Phone Lost It's Mind... 

"Dang!" Said Little Timmy "Now I'll Never 
Know What To Do! I Guess I'll Do Nothing... 
Because That Way I Can Do Nothing Wrong." 

"Good Plan, NARC!" Said Susan "I Saw You 
Leave the Meeting and Wondered What You 
Were Up To... So I followed You Out Here and 
Heard Every Word You said... and Every Word 
Major Wanker Said... You were Holding the 
Phone Away from Your Ear Because He was 
Talking So Loudly...  Your Super Duper Data 
Encryption is Useless if a Person Can Just 
HEAR YOU TALK... Anyway... I Disabled Your 
Car and Here Comes Silly Billy in OUR CAR... 
so Sayonara! Hasta La Vista, Baby!"

and they Eased on Down the Road... Leaving 
Little Timmy Behind... and he was SO Sad... 
WAH!

Bill turned on the Car Radio: "Did You Ever 
Hear This?"
Local Experts Record Chorus of Humpback 
Whales Singing Same Song Off the 
Humboldt Coast... 


Soon they Arrived at [Location to be 
and Billy Said: "Well, Here We Are!"

map of Yellowstone - found by random location program
Map of Yellowstone - found by random location
 program 44°57'56.3"N 107°33'18.8"W

Suzy Asked: "Should We Drive West to 
Yellowstone or East to Standing Rock?" 

all of a Sudden an Eagle was Spotted in the 
Eastern Sky... "Follow Me... It Said."

"Let's GO!" Said Billy "I Wonder if That was the 
Same Eagle That Named the Band..."

"What Band? Asked Suzy...

"The Eagles." Said Silly Billy...

"OH, Now I Get It!" Said Suzy...

"Great! Onward to Standing Rock!" Said Billy

and they Eased on Down the Road... 

Meeting of the Condor and the Eagle
Meeting of the Condor and the Eagle

"OMG!" Said Susan, "I'm Talking as if I was 
Texting! WTF!!!!" 

"Relax" said Bob "It's only the lingering effects 
of your (~);-} training.  

"Wow," said Susan "I never heard (~);-} 
pronounced before... That reminds me of a 
Story... " 

"Oh NO!" Said Billy "Not another Boring Story! 
I've Got to Stay Awake While I'm Easing on 
Down the Road.  and Who's BOB?"

"What?" asked Susan "He's The Hitchhiker 
You Picked Up an Hour Ago. Is Your Short 
Term Memory Going KaJiggers?"

"How the Hell Would I Know?" said Billy "My 
Entire Life is a Mystery!" 

But First, A Word from Our Sponsor... 

"MATH: Not Just For Rocket Science Anymore" 
Two-Tone Coffee Mug For Sale. Click on the Link 
to see the REST of this Computer Assisted Design... It's COSMIC!

MATH Coffee Cup for sale on zazzle gregvan


"Anyway..." Said Susan "I'll Tell You The Story
...
 
"A Million Years in the Future" by Purple64ETS:

The guard was looking at the pool of atomic 
waste... he wondered, what if I figured out a 
way to dispose of this Depleted Uranium... 
That would be wonderful... And he stood there 
and thought... just as his father had done, and 
his grandfather, and his great grandfather, 
great-great-great back through the millions of 
years they had been standing guard... But he 
had no idea... so he stood there and guarded 
the atomic waste and trained his son to be a 
guard... maybe my son will find the answer...


TO BE CONTINUED... A BILLION YEARS IN 
THE FUTURE...

"That Story Sucks" Said Bob "It Doesn't Even 
Have a Happy Ending! All Good Stories Have a 
Happy Ending Where The Good Guys Win."

"OK, Mister Wise Guy. YOU Tell a Story." Said 
Susan and Billy Together... 

"Fine... It's Called "Everybody's Laughing at 
Ayn Rand" by Benjamin Ghazi" Said Bob.

"Everyone's Laughing at Ayn Rand Because 
She took Social Security Checks from The 
Government In Her Final Years. True Believers 
of Her Philosophy feel that was a Betrayal of 
Her Core Values. However, What they FAIL to 
Realize is That She was a FICTION Author That 
Made Up Wild Tales About an Ideal World That 
Could Never Exist. It Was The FANS That 
Exaggerated The Significance of the Plots 
Until they Became Marching Orders for 
Libertarians Worldwide. A Blueprint for the 
Creation of a New World Order... She Just
 Thought, FREE MONEY FROM THE 
GOVERNMENT... WHEE! or Maybe That's Not 
What she thought at all... Maybe Her GRAND 
PLAN FAILED and Starvation Drove Her to 
Give Up Her Beliefs... We'll Never Really 
Know... But One Thing is Certain... [DRUM 
ROLL] Reality Exists No Matter What You 
Believe. The End. 

"Well, That's a Pretty Good Story... It Had That 
Mockery of People That Have Crazy Ideas and 
Millions of Followers... Like The TrumpNiks of 
America in the 2010s... He Was an Obvious 
Fraud but They Believed Every Lie He Told!" 
Said Susan

"It got so bad they Gathered in Large Groups 
and Infected Each Other with a Disease Called 
"Trump's Coronavirus" Even When ALL The 
Doctors Said 'DON'T DO THAT! You'll DIE!' 
They Just Kept On Behaving Stupid Until They 
Became Extinct."

"I Did Not Know That." Said Bob "I Guess That 
was the Start of the Three Party System in the 
USA. Green, Democrat and Libertarian... No 
Need for a FOURTH Party... Dead People Don't 
Vote... (Except in Texas)"

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

Author's Note: Are You Wondering About the
Safety of 5G? I worked for 6 Years designing
Computers for the Air Force Complying with
TEMPEST Requirements. EMI/RFI Shielding
Prevents All Radio Waves from Passing...
Transmit radio waves at a grounded steel plate
and they just stop. SO... In Fact... Aluminum
Foil Hats Prevent Radio Waves from Entering
Your Brain. YOU CAN COOK MEAT USING
POWERFUL ENOUGH MICROWAVES... So
Holding a Cellphone up to your ear is in fact
COOKING Your Brain... But NOT Cooking it
Very Much... RARE MEAT... Not Well Done... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempest_

Aluminum Foil Hats in the Movie Signs
Aluminum Foil Hats in the Movie Signs 










"LOOK!" Said Susan "And They Saw ____ 
______ ___ ___. 
(To be Determined by a Random Vision 
Generator Program)

Logging Truck, Fully Loaded on Highway #299 - Humboldt County, CA
Logging Truck, Fully Loaded on
Highway #299
During a Construction Work
Traffic
Jam. 
Humboldt County, CA

"That Random Image Program Works Pretty 
Good." Said Bob "That Reminds Me of a Story." 

"Oh NO!" Said Billy "Not another Boring Story! 
I've Got to Stay Awake While I'm Easing on 
Down the Road... and Who's BOB?"

"He's The Same Hitchhiker Who's Been Sitting 
in the Back Seat for Hours!" Said Susan "Your 
Brain is Definitely Fried! Go Ahead BOB... I'm 
Listening." 

"Anyway, It's Just Free Advice to How to Avoid 
Traffic While Driving Thru Summertime 
Construction Zones. First, They Have a 
Flagman Stop All Traffic Because of a One 
Lane Road Ahead. Then, After waiting 10 
Minutes (that feels like hours) Everybody 
Drives Forward Really Fast in a Tightly Packed 
Bunch. 

AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY... Pull Off the 
Side of the Road and Take Photographs of 
Nature for Five Minutes... By That Time, ALL 
THE CARS HAVE PASSED and You are Driving 
with Zero Traffic... They are all Racing Ahead 
at Breakneck Speed... and Since All The Cars 
Behind You Are Blocked by The Flagman... You 
Won't See Them Either... If You Have a 
Tendency to Drive Slower Than Average You 
will Never See another Car until You Get to the 
NEXT Construction Zone. 

"Thanks Bob, That's Great Advice." Said Susan.

"I Learned That Driving over Highway #299 
From Arcata to Redding, CA. One time It was 
So Hot That I Thought I Was Going to Die... 
After the Flagman Let Us Go, I Saw a 
Swimming Hole in the Trinity River and 
Jumped In. I Drank a Lot of Cool, Clear Water... 
So Much that I Became Intoxicated! That Was 
FUN!"
Trinity River in Humboldt County, CA - From the Shady Place to Park.
Trinity River in Hoopa, Humboldt
County, CA  Photo Taken From
the Shady Place to Park.

"What About You, Bob? Have You Got a Story?"
 Asked Susan.

"Well..." said Bob. "Years Ago..." and He 
Hesitated... Paused... as His Fried Brain 
Performed a Search... and the Computer 
Displayed a Random Photo... 

metal swirl - gvan42

Bob Said: "Here's One... Do the Math: a silly 
story… Absurdist Fiction! Not one word is 
True... [wink, wink]

During the early 1970’s a gentleman and his 
wife were working in Palo Alto, California and 
he discovered the key to enlightenment. He 
published it as a book and became a leader of 
a religious group very popular with the high 
tech crowd surrounding Apple and HP. To put 
it briefly, the key is 
01101011001110110100010001… 
and it went on like that for a hundred 
pages finally ending with the amazing 
conclusion that astonished the world and 
allowed the couple to earn a million dollars 
from royalties… 
11010011100001110101100110.

A few years passed and the wife made a 
public statement: “While my husband is a fine 
fellow and a wonderful father to our children, 
I sadly must inform you that he is almost 
entirely wrong about the key to enlightenment. 
I have been doing the math and can state that 
there is a missing part… it is:
10010100110001001011101110… 
and it went on like that for a hundred pages 
finally ending with the amazing conclusion 
that astonished the world and allowed the 
couple to earn another million dollars from 
royalties… 
00101100011110001010011001.

And the people of the world did the math… 
and she was right… while each of the strings 
of zeros and ones by themselves showed part 
of the key to true enlightenment, if you add the 
two numbers together, they equal:
1111111111111111111111111…. 
and it goes on for a hundred pages finally 
ending as you would expect… 
111111111111111111111111111.

and THAT'S How You Become One With The 
Universe!"

Hey! That's Great." Said Susan. "Anyone Else?" 
and She Pushed the Button to Display a 
Random Photograph... 

Elfin Glen Store - Redwood Chainsaw Sculptures on Highway #101 - Humboldt County
The Elfin Glen Store
Redwood Chainsaw Sculptures
on Highway #101 -
Humboldt County, CA  

"I Don't Get anything From this Picture. 
Try Again." Said Tom

"Who the Hell is TOM?" asked Silly Billy.

"Oh, That's The Other Hitchhiker We Picked Up 
an Hour Ago. He's Kinda Quiet." Said Susan 
"Anyway, Here is another Photo."
Impossible Object That forms the Core of the Infinity Drive. Discovered at Roswell, New Mexico
Impossible Object That forms the
Core of the Infinity Drive.
Discovered at
Roswell, New Mexico

"I'm Getting an Image in My Mind!" Shouted 
Billy "It's The Space Brothers From That Old 
Comic Book about the Fabulous Furry Freak 
Brothers and Mr. Natural... and He's Holding a 
Four Wheeled Hand Truck! Gee, 
That's a Major Improvement over the 
Two Wheeled Hand 
Trucks I Used at the Old Paint Store. Maybe 
Friendly Aliens DID Help Ancient Humans to 
Invent Technology. Look! There Goes One 
Now!"

[Author's Note: As I was writing this a Lady 
Walked by using a four wheeled hand truck 
to deliver a Box Spring from a Bed. Using 
One Hand!]

Friendly Alien Waving at YOU from inside His Flying Saucer - gvan42
Friendly Alien Waving at YOU
from inside His Flying Saucer


as They Were Easing on Down the Road 
Towards Standing Rock... Silly Billy Said: 
"Let's Stop Here! [insert location found on 
Google Maps on the Actual Path to Standing 
Rock] Evans Plunge Mineral Springs... 1145 N 
River St, Hot Springs, SD 57747 - I Feel Like a 
Soak in the Hot Tub."

"Fantastic!" Said Susan "We Can Get Naked 
and Fool Around Just Like We Did at Woody's 
Hot Springs on Highway #70 in California."

"No We Can't. This is Just Not That Kind of 
Place." Said Silly Billy... 
"For thousands of years, the valley of healing 
waters, called "wiwila kata" by the Lakota 
(meaning warm waters), was prized for the 
warm spring-fed river. Both the Lakota and 
Cheyenne utilized the natural river of warm 
water springs that flows through present-day 
Hot Springs."

So They Soaked for Hours... and Then... They 
Eased on Down The Road... They Met a Girl 
in the Hot Tub That wanted to Join The Band 
of Intrepid Travelers... Her Name Was... 
[Random Named Chick] and She Wanted to 
Go to Standing Rock Also. 

"I've always admired the Standing Rocks at 
Stonehenge. And Now I Find Out We Have a 
Standing Rock Right Here in the USA." Said 
[Random Named Chick] 

"I Don't Know If They Have an Actual ROCK 
There... Mostly It's About Protecting the Water 
from an Oil Pipeline. Here, Read This: 
It'll Give You a Clearer Picture..." Said Susan, 

Standing Rock Sioux Tribe

Bldg. #1 N Standing Rock Ave.
P.O. Box D
Fort Yates, ND 58538
(701) 854-8500

Standing Rock Sioux Nation straddles the 

North Dakota/South Dakota boarder on the 

western portion of both states. Currently the 

reservation is about 1,000,000 total acres.

Map of Standing Rock Reservation
Map of Standing Rock Reservation

"Dang! It Appears that We Are Freaking Lost... 

We Should be Heading Towards Bismarck, 

North Dakota." SAID EVERYONE ALL AT 

ONCE!

"We Should Have Gone North on #85 and Then 

East on #12. When We Got To STURGIS We 

Were Going the Wrong Way." Said Silly Billy.

"Yeah, But I Always Wanted to See STURGIS... 

It Was Interesting Even Off Season When 

There Were Not a Gazillion Bikers... Maybe 

Even Better!" Said Susan... 

"And That Side Trip To Devil's Tower Was 

EPIC... Do DO Do Do DUH!" Sang 

[Random Named Chick] 


Suzie Turned on the Car Radio and A Talking 

Head Said: 

"I See on the TV News That a Remote 

Controlled Machine Gun Killed the Top Iranian 

Nuclear Scientist. My First Reaction was: Can 

I Get One for Christmas? What are the 

Controls Like? A Gameboy? Joystick? and 

Then after Further Contemplation I Wondered... 

What IF We Murdered ALL Nuclear Scientists 

Worldwide? They DO EVIL for a Living! 

Exterminate The #MAGACrazies!"

"Well," Said Silly Billy... "That's Different... I 
Guess out here in the Wilds of Middle America 
People Think Differently Than on the Coasts..." 
and they eased on down the road... 

and... Pretty Soon they Had Arrived at the 
Country Club where Jim Fitterling was a 
Member... Billy Said: "Hey Dude ( Guy 
Guarding the Entrance) "How do you get a 
JOB at this Place? Specifically, a Catering 
Job?"

and the Dude Replied: "Try the  D'Alessandro's 
Catering Services at  801 East Wackerly St, 
Midland, MI 48642 - Phone: (989) 631-3824 - 
I've Got Their Card Right Here... Tell 'em 
Johnny Sent You."

and so the Intrepid Travelers turned around 
and Drove Over to 8-1 East Wackerly Street...

driving directions to the caterer in Midland Michigan - part of my novel "Doing Evil For Money" - by Gregory Vanderlaan gvan42

 When they Got to the Caterers office Billy 
Said: "Hello... I'm Looking for a Job Here... 
I've Got Years of Work Experience and... 
Not only can I Prepare and Serve Food but I 
Can Work as a Bouncer in Case any of the 
Guests BECOME A MENACE TO SOCIETY."

and The Dude behind the Counter said: 
"Excellent! It Just So Happens that one of Our 
Guests Thinks He's God because He's The 
CEO of DOW. After a few drinks... He Thinks 
Everybody Ought to Be the Mother of His 
Children... Even if that's BIOLOGICALY 
IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Great! I Can Start Today... and I'll Beat Him 
Like a Piñata! Just Grab a Stick and SWING 
AWAY!" Said Billy, Silly Willie!

So our Band of Merry Men (and a Merry 
Woman) went off in search of a Bag of Weed... 
Susan said: "Let's Prepare "Magic Oregano" 
Spaghetti AND Alice B Toklas Brownies! That'll 
Double the Chance That Mr. "God's Gift to 
Women" will eat some Cannabis and Have a 
Religious Experience! Possibly Changing the 
Future of the World!" 

They drove over to the wrong side of the 
Tracks and Parked the Car... They were 
Walking down the Street Just a Having a 
Think when a Snake of a Guy Gave Susan 
an Evil Wink...

"Hey Dude... Got any Weed?" asked Susan... 
"We Plan  to Open the Doors Of Perception."

Open the Doors of Perception - gvan42 - Gregory Vanderlaan Self Portrait
Open the Doors of Perception 
Gregory Vanderlaan
Self Portrait


and the Dude Said: "We Got Everything! I Run 
a One Stop Drugstore Just Like Walgreens... 
Except... No Legal Drugs... Go See Them for 
that!" 

"Fantastic! One Ounce of Humboldt's Finest if 
you Please... Sinsemilla..." Said Bob

"Well, I Do Have a Sinsemilla That was Grown 
in the Ozarks... They Call it "The Mule" 'cause 
it Kicks You In The Head!"

"SOLD!" said Everyone... "Gotta Pipe?"

and they Partook the Gift of the Gods... 

Susan Said: "Let's Just Bribe the Guy at the 
Caterers to Put our infused Food on the Table 
at the Country Club. I Bet he would do it for 
$500 Dollars..."

Silly Billy Said: "Great Idea! That way we can 
be OUT OF TOWN When Everything Goes 
Down... Ya Got Any Money?"

"Well Sure... Ever Since You Showed Me How 
to Embezzle from the Deutsche Bank Cloud 
I've Been Rich!" Replied Susan

"I'm Glad I Bought That Book 
- I Just Wonder... Why is the Author 
Selling it for Money? Doesn't He Have 
Enough using his own Plan?" Asked Silly Billy

and they Did the Deed... The Guy at the 
Catering Service was Totally On Board with 
their Plan... Especially after Eating a Brownie... 
They Made Sure that He Understood That They 
Would be Reading the Midland Newspaper for 
Evidence that the Crime Had Actually Been 
Committed. If He Just Ate it all himself... or 
shared it with his friends... "I'll Be Back!"

and They Eased on Down The Road... 

The next adventure took them to... Beautiful 
Downtown Burbank... The Home of the Laugh 
In TV Show. NBC Studios for Fifty Years! 

"All I Remember About That is the Chimes... 
Ding, Ding, Ding..." Said Fred...

"Did You know that the NOTES PLAYED by the 
Bells are "G", "E" and "C" - The Name of the 
Corporation that Owns NBC is General 
Electric... So The Bells Play the Name of the 
Company... 
Said "Mustang" Sally "So Its Subliminal 
Programming... a Concept for Brainwashing 
that went out of Style in the 1960s... 
To be replaced by 
BRUTE FORCE REPETITION... 
Like all those TV Advertisements for Pharmaceutical Drugs that 
show Ecstatic 
Dancing... 
No Matter What You DO... You 
Believe that Product X will turn 
you into a 
Happy Beautiful Person... " 

"Yes... I Noticed That!" Said Silly Billy "And 
Trump Uses the Same Mind Control 
Propaganda Technique Pioneered by 
Hermann Goering of NAZI Germany During 
WW2."

"You don't seem to be too concerned about the 
Strangers in the Back Seat anymore." Said 
Susan "I Guess that's all Part of the 
Hollyweird Lifestyle!" 

"YES! Let's Go To The Beach!" Said Fred 
"The Closest Beach is the World Famous 
Santa Monica Pier!"
Santa Monica Pier map
Santa Monica Pier Map


 
"I Don't Choose to Go There" said Billy "and 
I'm Driving. Let's Go to Venice Beach. 
Home of THE DOORS... 
and the Boardwalk Where 

Venice Beach Boardwalk Map

Harry Perry - Guitar Player that Rollerblades down Venice Beach Boardwalk
Harry Perry 
Guitar Player that Rollerblades
down Venice Beach Boardwalk

Billy Said: "Have You Read that Book Called 
"The Blind Art Critic" By Gregory Vanderlaan
--- It Starts out --- "I Have No Knowledge about
Subatomic Physics and That's Why I Don't
Express Opinions on that Subject... Many
Other People Are Comfortable in Expressing
their Views With ZERO FACTS...
We Call Them Republicans."

Susan Replied: "Oh Course I Have Not Read 
That Book... He Hasn't Written It Yet."

"Well" Said Billy "I Got an advance Copy in my 
Email... gregvan[at]yahoo[dot]com and It 
Included Pictures as well as The Words of 
Wisdom. Look!"

Ezekiel's Wheel by gvan42 purple64ets

and Susan Said: "Dang That's Creepy! WTF is 
it Supposed to Be?"

and Bob Said: "Exekiel's Wheel from the Bible. 
You Know the Story. He was Abducted by 
Aliens! They Had Four Heads... Really... The
Head of a Man, an OX, a Lion and an Eagle. 
Of Course, Maybe he was Just Tripping on
Magic Mushrooms!"

Ezekiel's Wheel - Four Headed Creature - by gvan42 purple64ets

and then Billy asked: "Have You checked to 
See if the Caterer Actually Served the Infused 
Spaghetti To The Corporate Elite at Jim 
Fitterling's Country Club?"

Susan Did Some Research On Her Phone and... 
NO Evidence of a Wild Party... Nothing! She 
Said: "Nope, That guy who worked at the 
Caterers turned out to be a Rat Fink! What do 
you want to do about that?"

"Well," said Billy "Let's Just Forgive Him for 
the Time Being. Send him an email reminding 
him that we KNOW HIS SECRET. Let's Just 
Publish a HOW TO Manual on the Internet 
Describing our Plan and Maybe One of the 
Hundreds of Thousands of Gregory 
Vanderlaan's Blog will GET 'ER DONE!" 

and that's exactly what they Did!

The End...  

Epilog: "That's IT? It's Over? WTF!" Asked 
Susan... "What about the Happy Ending? 
or Any Ending at all? 

"Well," Said Billy "We Could Just Keep On 
Truckin' after all we are in the Middle of Know 
Where and we Live on the Extreme Left Coast 
of the USA... So... Plot a course on Google 
Maps and Let's Go Home..."

map home from standing rock to arcata ca
map: home from Standing
Rock to Arcata CA

"LOOK" said Susan "There are Many 
Adventures Awaiting Us in the Future!"

"and we are going right thru Crescent City, CA 
where we can stop at that Crazy Art Gallery 
right on the side of the Road!" Said Billy 
"Have You Seen That?"

"No I Have Not!" replied Susan "Let's Go 
Space Truckin!"

and THAT was the End... They Visited the Art 
Gallery, rearranged their priorities, and Started 
Creating Art, Music, and Children... They 
became relaxed and just too damn tired to 
actually do any more Eco-Actions... 

"We Did Our Part." said Susan "Now It's Time 
for a Younger Generation to Pick Up The Ball 
and March Forward... Fight the good fight... 
promote good... We are Breeding an entire 
new generation of ECO-WARRIORS!"

The End (really!)


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