T.G.A.N. ~~~> A Silly Science Fiction Story: Not a Blueprint for Revolt... No, No, Not That! <~~~ Chapter Zero: “You are under arrest” said THE MAN. “Eat Lead, Copper.” said Merle. and THE MAN did…


They were at a remote marijuana plantation in Humboldt County and Merle was not about to let Federal Law Enforcement interfere with his profit. Too Bad, So Sad for THE MAN’s next of kin but everyone voluntarily selects their own career… It appears that  THE MAN’s choice of livelihood was not the most brilliant idea.

The next puzzle was how to dispose of the body… Ecologically…

This area of the woods is home to BEARS and BIGFOOT… Someone was going to get a free lunch… and here comes one now…

 “DANG” exclaimed Susan “These reality TV Shows are SOOOOO predictable… The criminal always gets caught in the end. BORINGGGGG. I’m changing channels right now. “

CLICK.

“Whoosh” went the speaker in the TV set.

“Oh Boy, A Space Opera. ” said Susan.

“Whoosh-whoosh” went the speaker in the TV set.

“Who are you talking to?” asked Bob as he entered the room with a pizza and six pack of [product placement].

“Nunya Beeswax” said Susan.

 “Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-KA BLOOOEY!” went the speaker in the TV set.

“Wow, Look at that!” said Bob.

“The SLIME from the dead alien is dripping onto the floor” said Susan.

“And it stinks” said Bob.

“That’s ABSURD. These new TV sets from [product placement] with ‘SMELL-O-VISION’ are more trouble than they are worth.”

CLICK.

TALKING HEAD: “In other news, Dr Ron Paul has accepted the Republican Party Nomination for President of the United States.  We go live to the convention floor where a riot has broken out. “

CLICK.
---> Advertisement <---
Flying Saucer Cartoon Case-Mate iPhone Case For Sale.

and there is a Friendly Alien Waving at You!

 “Wait a second, go back to that news report. That’s an event that DID NOT HAPPEN.”

“Oh don’t be surprised, it’s FOX news… they often write fiction and present it on the TV as Actual News. “

“Are you sure? They seem so sincere.” said Bob

“Yep, they have meetings, get blasted on mind altering substances and write collaborative fiction…” replied Susan

“Sounds good to me.”

“Yes. We’ve got some fiction to write ourselves… because this story is starting to drag.” Complained Susan

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Let’s watch CNN, they tell the truth…

CLICK.

“In other news, President Obama Legalized Medical Marijuana today. Stating, “I was wrong, tragically wrong… I asked my doctor and she said there IS medicinal value to Medical Marijuana… So we have stopped the DEAth Squads… ” said the talking head.

 "Oh-oh… CNN has gone NATIVE also… have we a distortion of the space-time continuum?" Questioned Susan.

"YES!" exclaimed Tom...

"Tom? Tom? Who are You? And Why are you in MY DREAM?" wondered Sally...

"Don't worry about WHY, let's just enjoy this dream world... Would you like to smoke a dream REEFER?"

"Sure, since this is just a dream, I'll be able to pass my drug test back in real world..."

"You're going BACK? Why? asked Fred...

"Fred? "Fred? who.ru?"

"Me? I'm just here for the... [fill in the blank activity]... Ever since I learned to Lucid Dream I've been taking CONTROL of my dreams and engaging in the most amaZING adventures...

 and then there was Tom. Tom McGuinniss-Stout. He always kept his first name the same but changed his last name for every job. He worked for the [three letter agency] this time as a [action hero job] but also would work as [variety of job description list] depending on who he was trying to fool.

"Well, since everyone is here... let's twist the plot." said everyone...

[cue theme music: "The Twist" by Hank Ballard and The Midnighters]

"Look, a computer... Can I use it for a moment?" said Tom McGuinniss-Stout. "I need to do some research to help develop my character. This time I play the part of an Anonymous Hacker and it would be useful to have a clue as to what they do."

[cue powering up sound effect]

"They Fight Evil" said Sally "Look at this list... "

Wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam, Panama, Nicaragua and all those other UNDOCUMENTED wars...
Laws prohibiting cannabis...
NDAA...
DRONES...
Nuclear Power Plant construction in Vogtle, Georgia USA...
Laws: Peyote, LSD and Psilocibin are Illegal...
Operation Fast and Furious...
WTC7...
Twinkie...
False Flag...
HSBC...
Bradley Manning...
Jury Nullification...
"Freedom Fries"...
Citizens United...
Banking in the Cayman Islands...
Federal Subsidies for Oil Companies...
the Lack of any photographs of an airplane flying into the Pentagon on 9/11/2001...
American Type Culture Corporation selling Anthrax to Saddam Hussein...
Iran-Contra...
the Gulf of Tonkin incident...
US Patent #6630507...
MKULTRA...
Thermite...
John Lennon, JFK, MLK and RFK assassinations...

"Oh my, what can one person DO? This list is so long and growing daily." complained Fred.

"Exactly." said Tom McGuinniss-Stout. "What CAN you do? Me, I expose the evil ones online... You, will have to select your own plan of action... You may get a hint by reading books... "The Monkeywrench Gang" by Edward Abbey or "Crossfire" by James Patterson"

"No Thanks" whined Fred... That's too much effort... I think I'll watch TV instead. The Corporate Propaganda Channel is my Favorite."

"Which Channel is THAT ONE? inquired Sally.

"EVERY ONE" sang everyone in chorus...

... but the seed was planted in Fred's Mind... 

"What CAN I do to fight evil?" he wondered...

"The US Military trained me in many specialized skills, I can go out into the woods and survive. I can shoot a rifle accurately. I can shoot a rifle accurately.  I can shoot a rifle accurately."

Those words echoed around in his brain... Thoughts simply would not leave him alone...

"What IF?"

"Earth to Fred, come in Fred... Earth to Fred, come in Fred... WAKE UP!" said Tom McGuinniss-Stout.
"Your dream-time images are so powerful they are projecting into what we laughingly call Reality... and what I see is not "groovy". Do NOT allow the evil ones to rent space in your mind. Awaken... "

"Thanks." said Fred. "I was spiraling into a descending dog house of despair."

"Dog House? Questioned Tom McGuinniss-Stout.

"Yes, as in the Hank Williams song 'Move it on Over' " Explained F.Red.1[at] JoMamma[dot]com.

"Here, read a Book and let your troubles melt away... " and Tom McGuinniss-Stout handed Fred a copy of 'Crossfire' by James Patterson...

"Don't give him THAT ONE!" warned Sally "It's his Manchurian Candidate Trigger."

"I know, I'm his MKULTRA programmer and Today is the Day... Unleash the Hounds!" Stated Tom McGuinniss-Stout

[cue spooky music here]

"Whoa... I see a Witch, and it's Green... and there is a Conductor... and a Twinkie... and There is Little Debbie and she is holding out a train ticket. Hey, I understand... I grasp the Concept,  I'm going to Greenwich, Connecticut to MANIFEST my Destiny!" Shouted F.Red.1 in a voice that can only be describes as Orgasmic Glee. (OK, maybe Beatific, or Enraptured would work as well)

"Hand me my Twinkie... The Game is Afoot." requested F.Red.1

"I CAN'T hand you a Twinkie... that company was forced out of business by corporate raiders." said Sally. "They live in Greenwich, Connecticut... maybe when you are there you can get one from them."

"Bastards!" shouted F.Red.1

"NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE." SAID THE CENSOR. "AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF AN UNNAMED THREE LETTER GOVERNMENT AGENCY, I HEREBY TWIST THE PLOT. FROM NOW ON IT WILL ALL BE BUTTERFLIES, RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS. NONE OF THAT 'TURNER DIARIES' MANIFESTO THINLY DISGUISED AS FICTION."

"But this is My Dream Sequence..." stated Sally. "You can't just march in here and Declare Martial Law... This is not Watertownn, Mass... In MY dreams I AM TRULY FREE."

"NOT EXACTLY... NOT SINCE 9/11/2001." SAID THE CENSOR. "Everything Changed."

AND then the plot twisted...

 [fade to a pastoral scene... The Eloi* were relaxing by a river eating grapes and swimming without waiting an hour after lunch.]

"I Say... said one... All those conspiracy theories about Morlocks* seem so silly to me."

"So true, we live in Paradise." responded another...

"What if we took a drive to Chico? It's only 12 miles away. It is Friday Night and there is a free concert in the park... Tonight It's Jeff Pershing... He sings the most positive worldbeat music ever... We could be 'Dancing Beneath the Stars'. "

(~);-} http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f6EotzN45s {-;(~)
Click on the link above to listen to Jeff Pershing Band...

"Actually, you are misinterpreting what I was saying..." said the Eloi. "When I meant was we live inside a Pair of Dice... Look around you, see the spots? One over there, six over on the opposite wall... Oh NO! Here comes the giant hand to pick us up and roll away... Brace yourself... He bounces the dice off the back wall of the table at the casino. That's a wild ride."

"Come on Seven... Baby needs a brand new pair of shoes!" Exclaimed the Gambler... 

...and the dice bounced off the back wall, out of the table, onto the floor and out the door... clearly not a valid roll but when he went outside to retrieve the Pair of Dice, he noticed the wonderful aroma of pine trees... He turned around and there it was, Lake Tahoe. 

"Wow, that's some BLUE Water. and look, the Eloi are escaping!"



To Be Continued... Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel...


WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT IN THIS STORY?
Please comment to move the plot along... 
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

and now for something completely different!
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

The Day the Power Went Out [Speculative Fiction in the What If? Genre.] - Note: This was written by hand in pen on paper.


[Speculative fiction in the What If? Genre.] Note: This was written by hand in pen on paper.

~~~~~~~~ Chapter Zero ~~~~~~~~~~~

 It was 4:39 AM according to the clock in the van.  I went back to sleep. When I awoke in the morning the power was still out. It stayed out.

About 3/4 of the World's population died over the next few years.

All the money in all the bank's computers vanished. No oil was pumped. No computers, telephones, TV... No gas for trucks to bring food to the city... The people that lived off the grid survived and thrived. All the stuff survived... Thank God for the Bic Lighter. Fire is Good.
~~~~~~~~ Chapter One ~~~~~~~~~

It started to get cold. I started writing this diary using a pen on paper. (a mostly blank report from Merrill Lynch - USPS Junk Mail).

I can hear little birds. The police drove into King Salmon and Flashed Red, White and Blue Lights then drove away... A PG&E Truck drove by and then drove by again going in the other direction. Doing Recon. At this point in time I do not know if this is The End [link to doors song]

The water works at home. No Phone, No Computers, No Cooking, Heat? Unknown. Battery backup on thermostat? No Electricity.

It was rainy and windy last night but not excessively so. I could see the blinking channel lights in the bay but King Salmon was Dark.

I wonder... What IF the electricity went out worldwide forever...
Would I be one of the survivors of a Techno-Industrial Collapse? What can I do to thrive in the Post Apocalypse? What can we do?





"After the Global Economic Collapse You and I will breed a new race."
"Oh Boy! That sounds like fun!"


Or we could build Sailboats with fishing poles. Three masted schooners with large nets. Great for catching fish in a world without electricity. Feeding the People.

Or we could grow our own...
~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter Two ~~~~~~~~~~

Time Passes... (What else would Time Do?)

"Well, look at that" says I staring at a glowing lightbulb...

It looks like a UFO hovering near the ceiling... and then it flew away...
Note the Turtle's Shadow on the ceiling...
as If the Turtle is Riding the UFO! 

So, This individual level 5 catastrophic event did not come to pass this time... Will Our Hero Learn from this experience and Thrive in the Post Apocalypse techno industrial wasteland?

As it turns out... NO... a couple of days later, the internet went out for a day...

Suddenlink to the rescue! Three trucks and a PG&E truck too.

Official PG&E Outages Webpage Searchable Map.
http://www.pge.com/myhome/outages/outage/
at the time I typed this story, We were at the center of a known outage caused by equipment overload. Possibly an indoor marijuana farm using grow lights... Makes you wonder... 
***** (~);-} *****

Embrace Rainbow Spiralism Mug FOR SALE!
Smiling Text Art Cartoon Man 
with a swirling background... It's Cosmic!




~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~
and now for something completely different!
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

How To Lie with Statistics - Learn How to Create Misleading Bar Charts

Bar charts that use a resized photograph instead of a bar Automatically give the viewer an exaggerated idea... RESIZE the photo using constrained proportions. This gives the illusion that a increase of Two times is displayed as a Four times increase in area. This technique was used a lot by the newspaper USA TODAY.
Distorted Chart Using a Re-Sized Photo instead of bars in the bar chart. Double the Height = Four Times the Area. Visually Exaggerating Change. It's an Illusion. A Magic trick. The viewer automatically assumes that the change in data over time is much more significant that actual reality.

Normal, Accurate Bar Chart.

Compare the two charts. What do you see? Report results in the comments section below. It appears to me that the bottom chart shows a situation that is More Significant than the top chart...


I learned this from Dr Kim of Humboldt State University. Thanks! Dr. Kim.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_military_casualties_of_war

https://www.meta-chart.com/share/american-fatalities-since-9112001

~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~

another trick is...

Only show a portion of the bar chart. Some stock charts only show the top 10% of a graph. That exaggerates statistical noise into something a viewer feels compelled to notice.

~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~


"Do the Math" a silly story... by Greg Vanderlaan

During the early 1970's a gentleman and his wife were working in Palo Alto, California and he discovered the key to enlightenment. He published it as a book and became a leader of a religious group very popular with the high tech crowd surrounding Apple and HP. To put it briefly, the key is 01101011001110110100010001... and it went on like that for a hundred pages finally ending with the amazing conclusion that astonished the world and allowed the couple to earn a million dollars from royalties... 11010011100001110101100110.

A few years passed and the wife made a public statement: "While my husband is a fine fellow and a wonderful father to our children, I sadly must inform you that he is almost entirely wrong about the key to enlightenment. I have been doing the math and can state that there is a missing part... it is:10010100110001001011101110... and it went on like that for a hundred pages finally ending with the amazing conclusion that astonished the world and allowed the couple to earn another million dollars from royalties... 00101100011110001010011001.

And the people of the world did the math... and she was right... while each of the strings of zeros and ones by themselves showed part of the key to true enlightenment, if you add the two numbers together, they equal:1111111111111111111111111.... and it goes on for a hundred pages finally ending as you would expect... 111111111111111111111111111.

And THAT is how you "become one" with the universe. 
More Art at:
http://www.zazzle.com/gregvan*
Rings 3D
.

eARThsong lyrics by greg vanderlaan

This was written at a time that we were living in Chico California and were surrounded by a corral with 4 horses. We were also growing many plants including morning glory flowers that eventually got so tall that they climbed up to the roof of the little house. The tomato plants produced an abundance of food... quite a miracle...

Bm A D G
Planting, planting, planting seeds

D A D
May our garden grow...

Bm A D G
May God bless the earth and rain

D A D
And sprout the seeds I sow

D A D
And sprout the seeds I sow



CHORUS:
G Bm
We've been tilling soil since the dawn of time

A E
The fertile loam of home is nature most divine

G Bm
The lady with the hand upon the plow

A E
is identical, then and now


Weeding, weeding, weeding weeds
feed 'em to the horses
may God bless the new-born foal
and teach it natures forces
and teach it natures forces


Riding, riding, riding steeds
just like long ago
May God bless the hay they eat
and set their eyes aglow
and set their eyes aglow
    

A TIP for those of you that use Google Blogger to create photo webpages. While editing, if you click on the picture you just uploaded you may edit PROPERTIES: the TITLE tag and the ALT tag and add a CAPTION... those tags help search engines figure out what your picture is about... and improve search engine ratings... and you may select how BIG the thumbnail is... 

~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~
and now for something completely different!
~~~~~~ (~);-} ~~~~~~

"Blue Cheese Gone Bad" - A Murder Mystery - Not One Word is True, It's Fiction! Disclaimer: No, I did not Google the keywords "untraceable poison" at the Public Library using the sign in name "John Smith". You would have to ask Mr. Smith about that.

Prolog: In the beginning, Doggod created the Heavenz and the Dirt. Later, he/she/it would create Blue Cheese... I've always wondered about The First Guy to eat Blue Cheese... It Looks and Smells Poisonous but it's actually really Good! That First Guy had Courage or bad eyesight... or maybe he was just REALLY Hungry...

READ MORE AT:


Peace and Love - Free Coloring Book Art... Find MORE ART at this Link... https://gvan42.blogspot.com/2020/04/peace-and-love-free-coloring-book-art.html <--- Click There

Creepy Eye Wall Dark Side of the Moon Free Coloring Book Art by gvan42
That Creepy Eye from the Backside of the Dollar Bill, Pink Floyd's Wall and The Dark Side of the Moon Prism...
American Indian Wearing a Headdress - Free Coloring Book Art by gvan42
American Indian Wearing a Headdress 





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