Christmas ornaments for Sale at Zazzle Gregvan - decorated with original psychedelic art!: Classic Stories: "The Glazier with a Rock" - and - "The Golden Spoon of Montezuma" - and

"The Glazier with a Rock"
(a glazier is a person that replaces broken windows)

When I lived in Maryland in an apartment complex with 500 units there was a man who replaced broken windows... When there were no windows to replace he hired children to throw rocks thru windows... Then he had work to do and got paid for replacing the broken windows. This plan is not that unusual... I have heard that firefighters in Trinity County, California often are arsonists... Start a fire, get work as a firefighter...

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"The Golden Spoon of Montezuma"

When Cortez arrived in Mexico, he was interested in GOLD. He also wanted to impress the people he met with how rich and powerful his KING was. He told an Indian that his King was so rich that he used a golden spoon for EVERY meal and then discarded it after he was done. His King was so rich that he could afford to THROW AWAY gold. The Indian was not impressed. The Indian said that HIS King was so rich that he could afford to use a NEW GOLDEN SPOON for EVERY BITE! How was this possible? Well, Montezuma used TORTILLAS for a spoon. He would scoop up his food using a tortilla chip (golden spoon) and so he used a new "golden spoon" for each bite. I love telling this story when I'M eating Mexican food at a restaurant.

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"THE ORIGIN OF POPCORN"

Way out in the Ozark mountains Sandy Chapin built a house out of rocks.He found an old farmers fence that had fallen down and he just moved it onto his land and stacked it up. Near the front door he put two abalone shells. Here in California, abalone shells are quite common but out there in the Ozarks they caused quite a fuss. The hillbillies came from miles around to see the "pearls as big as a possum". Pretty soon rumors got around that the "pearls" were magic. Folks said that they helped the old folks with their bones on rainy days. You know how people talk around the stove in the general store. Tall tales indeed. They said it was a cure for Rheumatism and arthritis. Then the shepherds got into the act. When they get to talking the stories get exagerated all out of proportion.

Pretty soon animals were lined up down the road all the way to the creek. A mooing and a quacking like you never heard. Barking dogs and oinking pigs. But the old dog 'zeke just lay there on the porch. Night fell and the moonshine appeared. Who brought it? The moonshiners, of course. They cooked it in a still and squeezed the goodness out of the corn. By the light of the moon the corn sparkled. A wind came up and the stalks moved like they were dancing. Waves of motion like they were dancing to a string band. Somebody started a fire to bar b-q a pig and that's when things really started popping. You see, the wind blew the glowing coals out into the field and the cornstalks caught on fire. Pretty soon the whole field was in a conflagration and presto chango ... POPCORN!

Sandy is a real person and does live in the Ozarks with a dog, Zeke in a rock house...

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