"K3" Said: "What if We Used a Technological Weapon at the White House Instead of Burning it Down? I Remember There Was Some Research We Did Years Ago Into a SONIC Device That Would Drive "The Enemy" Insane and Also Cause Them to Sh*T Their Pants... It Was Basically a Loudspeaker That Played an 8 Hz Sine Wave at 140 dB... As Everyone Knows... Super Bass Drives You Crazy... Notice That Technique Used in What They Call RAP "Music" - It Automatically Makes People Angry."
Susan Said: "Great Idea! Let's Go To Our Friendly Neighborhood Radio Shack and Get the Parts Required to Build Such a Device..."
and Off They Went to The Mall at
Manassas... Hopefully They Had an 18" Woofer in Stock... OR MAYBE TWO! "K3" already owned an Ancient
Korg Synthesizer That Was Able to Create That Especially Low Frequency Note... They Could Simply Play the Note REALLY LOUD and Point The Speaker At The White House From a Location on 16th Street & "H" Street (Now called Black Lives Matter Blvd) ... Everyone In That Area Would GO CRAZY! Including All The Employees at The White House, The Old Executive Office Building and Blair House. MASS PANIC! But NO EFFECT at
The Old Ebbit Grill... They Would Be Safe!
after they spent the afternoon building a portable synthesizer system into the trunk of "K3" car...
"K3" Said: Let's Go Commit Our Eco-Warrior Action AT THE PENTAGON! That's The One Place in the World Where the Security Cameras FAIL... after all, There are No Photographs of an Airplane Crashing on 9/11/2001. We'll be Totally UNTRACEABLE."
And Suzy Said: "Great Idea... We Certainly Don't Want to be FILMED!"
and So they all agreed to test it at the Pentagon... In Northern Virginia... They Could Park in an Employee Parking Lot and Face the Car Away from the Pentagon... Open the Trunk... and Place the Two 18" Woofers against some pillows... No Real Need for Speaker Enclosures... Just Use The Entire Back of the Car to Direct the Sound...
"K3" Stretched His Fingers and Started Plying the Close Encounters Theme...
Do Do Do Do DUH... and When He Hit the Last Note... He Pushed the Hold Button so the Note would play Forever and Turned UP The Resonance on the Band Pass Filter... and Turned the Knob Controlling the Center Point Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, Down Past the Threshold of Human Hearing... and... While Keeping an Eye on the Frequency Counter... The Note Went Past 40Hz and Slid Down to Exactly EIGHT CYCLES PER SECOND... and Then... All of A Sudden... ALL THE AUTOMOBILE BURGLAR ALARMS WENT OFF!
And Susan Started Screaming! "AAAH, AAAAAH, AAAOOOUUUEEEE, AEIOU EIEIO!"
Susan Said: "Stop, Stop, Stop. This Entire Plan Is Insane! Let's GTFO! Before all those Soldiers Come Out... and Lock Us Up in a Secret Military Prison Hidden Deep in the Trinity Alps!"
Billy Hugged Her and Said in a Soothing Voice: "Relax Susan, It's All In Your Head... The Fear Frequency is Causing You To FREAK OUT! I Feel it TOO But... I Knew It was Coming and Used a Jedi Mind Trick to Refuse To Accept ARTIFICIAL MIND PANIC... Intentionally Focus Your Attention on a Pleasant Memory and The MADNESS HAS NO POWER OVER YOU."
Susan Said: "OK... I'll Remember that Sunny Day We Were Swimming Nude in Butte Creek... When We Were First Dating... and How It Felt Like We Were Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden."
Billy Said: "Good Plan... I Remember that Day... I Swam the Butterfly Across the Lake Splashing as Much as I Could... I Hoped to Impress You... After All, You WERE a Surfer Girl..."
and they both said: "AHHHH..."
and It Goes On and On and On...
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