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Showing posts with label Rumsfeld. Show all posts

"Conspiracy Theories" that are ACTUALLY TRUE. MKULTRA, Cointelpro, CIA-Contra-Cocaine, Donald Rumsfeld Selling Weapons to Saddam Hussein, UFOs are Real... Sometimes people dismiss Truth as "Just a Conspiracy Theory" because they Don't LIKE THE TRUTH.

In addition to the Five Factual Events listed above... What Ever Happened to these Unsolved Mysteries?

Why are there NO PHOTOGRAPHS of an Airplane at the Pentagon on 9/11/2001? Where's The Plane? Many Security Cameras near the Pentagon had their Video Tapes Confiscated by FBI... Never to be Released...

WTC7? Why did That Building Fall Down? No Airplane Hit World Trade Center NUMBER SEVEN... It Looks like a Controlled Demolition... Can a Fire burning wood, carpet and office equipment CAUSE a Skyscraper made of Steel to Fall Down? Note the Grenfell Tower, London that had a Massive fire, yet did not fall down!

What about the Explosions heard in the Basement of The World Trade Centers #1 and #2 on 9/11/2001... Why did those buildings fall straight down? If the Airplanes and Fires Caused Structural Damage. Why Didn't the TOP FLOORS Collapse First?

JFK Assassination? RFK Assassination? MLK Assassination?

MKULTRA Cartoon based on Mad Magazine's Spy vs Spy

Feel Free to Use Internet Search Engines to Find Out What Really Happened... Wikipedia has Some Interesting Articles...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra
The CIA Tested LSD on Americans Without Their Knowledge and That Lead to Massive Use Worldwide.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COINTELPRO
The FBI Infiltrated Anti Vietnam War and Civil Rights Groups to Spy and Start Illegal Actions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CIA_involvement_in_Contra_cocaine_trafficking The CIA Imported Cocaine by the TON in order to Finance the War in Nicaragua.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Rumsfeld
Donald Rumsfeld Sold Weapons to Iraq... Part of Ronald Reagan's CrazyWar® Plan... At One Point we Sold Weapons to Both Iraq and Iran while they were at war with each other.
https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/

The American Type Culture Corporation of Manassas, Virginia Sold ANTHRAX to Iraq...
https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB889500845826969500
The ATCC legally shipped 70 vials of anthrax, botulism and other deadly substances to Iraqi scientists in the 1980s -- when the U.S. and Iraq were on much friendlier terms -- all with the Commerce Department's approval.

UFO: US Navy Films verified...

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A CIA Employee Spoke to Millions of Americans and said: "Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out." - Was That the DEPLOYMENT of Project Mkultra?

That's Exactly What Happened in the Late 1960s... Dr Timothy Leary (Author of the CIA's Personality Test) Went Coast to Coast Encouraging Young People to Eat The CIA's Miracle Drug, LSD and... Stop Protesting Against The War in Vietnam... because We Were Too Busy Being Holy Men, Saints... and Wanted to Play the Guitar all Day... and Go Live in the Country and Grow Vegetables, Weed and Children... and Make Paintings, Pottery and Tie Dye T-Shirts... Write Poetry... Etc, Etc, Etc...

and All of those Interests Added Up To NOT Being a Menace to The Military Industrial Complex... Dropping Out...

SO... Was "The Sixties" part of the CIA Project Mkultra? The Part Where they Actually USED LSD as a "Weapon" Against "Enemies" in the Hope that We Would Simply Lay Down Our Arms and Surrender...

Review of the Video Game "America's Army". Brainwashing Your Children in the Comfort of Home. Programming Them To Become Killers for Corporate Profit and then Throwaway PTSD Victims...

Since 1945, The US Military Has Never Defended The USA. Not Even Once. Ever Since Victory over Japan, Every War Has Been a BOGUS Marketing Trick Designed to Sell Weapons for the Military Industrial Complex.

Chart: US Military Deaths by War.
Massive Decline of Fatalities Right after The Sixties...
Source DOD

50th anniversary of the Summer of Love... The Diggers, Haight Ashbury, LSD and the Grateful Dead. It certainly has been a Long Strange Trip. Congratulations to all those of us who have survived... One thing is for certain... The culture of the United States was radically different After the 1960's...

The conformism of the 1950's was blown away when LSD became widely available. Owsley made the chemical and made it available at Acid Tests with Ken Kesey and the Grateful Dead. He also gave it to the Beatles for their Magical Mystery Tour. The spirit lives on in a yearly camping trip called The Rainbow Gathering. It's like Woodstock but the performers are not paid and I'm in the Band.

A Journey to the Rainbow Gathering in California 2004. Photographs and My Story... and Memories of The Gatherings in Idaho, Utah and Pennsylvania...

#DefundThePolice - LAYOFF HALF THE POLICE NATIONWIDE. Refund Their Wasted Paychecks To The Taxpayers. After All, We Do NOT Need Any More MURDERS of CITIZENS!

Write to Your Senators and Representatives.
CUT THE POLICE BUDGET IN HALF.
Do It For SAFETY!

DEFUND tRUMP'S SPACE FORCE. I Hope The Space Brothers Are Our FRIENDS Because If They Get Angry, We Are DOOMED! They Have Better Technology and Could Totally Out Gun US... Do Not Shoot Them!

An Alien Attack by UFO is Highly Unlikely....
A BETTER IDEA Would be to De-Classify the Secret UFO Anti-Gravity Propulsion Systems... We Could Reverse Engineer Them and Replace Fossil Fuel Completely... We Ought to Give EXXON-VALDEZ a Couple of Years to Invest in Other Businesses... Like Solar or Wind... because when The UFO Technology is Revealed, They will be totally OUT of the Oil Business... Maybe they could invest in the Insurance Business... Like Phillip Morris (Marlboro Cigarettes) is Doing...

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We All Ought To Live More Like Star Trek. Many Different Races Working Together to Accomplish Great Things. A Year Ago, When The President of the United States Was selling Hate... We all ought to remember our Trekkie Roots...

One reason Star Trek has become more than just a TV Show is that people can see themselves in the show. Gay, Straight, Man, Woman, Russian, Vulcan, Scotch, White, Oriental, Black, Latino, Doctor, Scientist, Hero, Bald, Klingon, Borg... There are positive people in that show for all of us...

People are AWAKENING!

Link to All My
"Hate Won't Make America Great"
Gifts For Sale
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Space Exploration is our Destiny. Simply Stop Funding War and We Could Totally Afford Epic Voyages. "LET'S GO Space Truckin'"

Why NOT go to the Stars in Multi Generational
Self Sustaining Environments?
We have not invented the technology YET.

gregvan at the Franklin Museum in Philadelphia.

http://www.zazzle.com/gregvan/cosmic+gifts

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The Cosmic Eye - FREE Clipart - New Art Added Today! - and Decorated Merchandise for Sale on Zazzle Gregvan - over Two Dozen FREE IMAGES! Have Fun!
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Protest tRUMP: Sept 30th in Costa Mesa, CA - At His Fundraising Dinner: $23,200 Dollars a Couple. The Location is Secret... SO... Let's Shut Down the Entire Town!
Thanks to everyone that showed up at the Anaheim Protest!! Good Job! I wonder... Does anyone Know where the Secret Costa Mesa Location is? ...

Republican Plan A: Shoot Themselves in the Foot, Blame Democrats. Plan B: Pee in their Own Canteen... Then... CROWN TRUMP KING! ---->Plus: History of San Jose, CA
Here are the Details of their Plan. No Money for War. Let's Keep the US House SHUT DOWN for 25 More Days! BIDEN Cannot Spend a Penny fo...

GOP FAILS AGAIN! Jim Jordan WILL NOT Become Speaker of the House. #RUNAWAY FROM THE DISASTER PARTY. Republicans Prove They CAN'T DO ANYTHING to Make America Great. They Can't Do Anything AT ALL! THE HOUSE REMAINS BROKEN!
https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/house-speaker-race-vote-10-17-23/index.html On the Second Vote, Jordan LOSES... Will there be a Third...

Millions of Republicans #RUNAWAY from the GOP. Burning Down the House Triggered a Massive Exodus... #FreeNestor "I Just Can't Stand the Crazy Anymore!" says Susan Q of Youngstown, Ohio
"I Worked as a Third Grade Teacher My Whole Life and I Recognize This Behavior... I'm Voting for Adults From Now On!" #FreeNes...

RFK Jr is Wrong. COVID-19 Is Not a BioWeapon Designed to Kill Republicans. Yes, That's What Happened but It Was Not Intentionally Engineered that Way... We Were Just Lucky...
Remember: ANTI-VAX LIES On The Internet Have Killed Off More Republicans Than Democrats. THANK YOU FOR DYING! We Certainly Don't Need ...

Madman Trump Makes Death Threats on Truth Social. If He is Elected, Expect TOTAL ANARCHY! We Got a Preview - US House of Representatives TOTALLY SHUT DOWN! - Just To Make CRIME LEGAL for Republicans!
Trump Wants His Enemies to Fear for Their Lives... https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/09/trump-milley-death-fbi-threats.html Last Friday,...

Bad Day For tRUMP: His Lawyers Plead Guilty. Sidney Powell and Kenneth Chesebro FLIP! His Candidate for House Speaker FAILS and then Gives UP! Jim Jordan: Officially a Three Time Loser!
The US House is STILL Broken so Republicans Go On Vacation... No Plan for ACTUALLY Doing anything to Make America Great... NONE AT ALL... MA...

FREE COLORING BOOK: Print The Drawings and Color Using Felt Pens, Pencils or Crayons... Make as Many Copies as You Like... Even More Art at Google Image Search = gvan42 Art
American Indian with Headdress Flower Power Bus That Creepy Eye from the Back of the Dollar Bill - and Pink Floyd's Wall - Dark Side of...

Little Tommy Tuberville Fall Down Go Boom! It's NOT HIS FAULT That He's Stupid. Concussion from a Football Injury Scrambled His Brains! and That's Why He Hates the US Military!
and Now for Something Completely Different! Republican'ts Oppose the Assault Weapons Ban Because THEY ARE PRO-DEATH. but The Era of Evil...

Everyone Says Trump Was The Worst President Ever... However...

George Bush The Son was an American Idiot TOO... 9/11 Happened on His Watch... and Then He Started TWO Insane Wars Killing Thousands of American Soldiers... and the USA PATRIOT ACT: Pure Evil... and Wrote a $700 Billion Check to Wall Street when They Failed in 2008... Free Money that the The US Government Created From Nowhere... Like a Magician Pulling a Rabbit out of a Hat...

Richard Nixon allowed the Vietnam War to Continue for FOUR MORE YEARS. He Campaigned on Ending the War in 1968 but Failed to Surrender until 1973... Killing Thousands of American Soldiers...

Ronald Reagan Sold Weapons to Terrorists... He Helped Saddam Hussein become President of Iraq... Blew up Nicaragua... and Started the Disastrous "War On Drugs" which has filled American Prisons with Millions of Black and Brown Men but did not actually reduce drug use...

Yes, It's True that Republicans are the Worst Presidents Ever... but don't forget Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld... They did Evil for Decades...

and then on Facebook Jake Pein Said: It’s so wild that it seems like no one remembers how absolutely awful Bush Jr’s presidency was. I agree Trump has been a terrible president but Bush was the one of, if not the worst in the past 100 years. Savage attacks on civil liberties with the patriot act, the creation of the department of homeland security and massive expansion of government surveillance on everyone. Started multiple new wars we’re still in, the endless war on terror and drone bombings, and started an international toruture regime. Continued deregulating Wall Street and the financial sector and oversaw the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression where the entire housing market was destroyed and millions lost their homes and jobs. Probably the time of the most white collar crime in history. No one was held accountable. It is really sickening that these former bush administration criminals are running the Lincoln project and all the liberals are eating it up and rehabilitating bush as a likable old goof. Just remember what it was like in 2008 when the economy was in the shitter and bush had like 20% approval. Trump has been awful and things are shitty now but this isn’t unprecedented. This is just more of the same insanity from the Republican Party.

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Cut NDAA in Half - Contact Congress & The President and Tell 'em to CUT The Defense Budget! Remember: Since 1945 the US Military Has Never Defended the USA. Not Even Once!

While Most People Believe that Contacting Congress is Totally Pointless and They are all Corrupt Puppets of the Military Industrial Complex... I Disagree... I Write to Them Often... and Usually They Write Back about the Right Subject... Proving that Some Employee Actually Read the First Sentence and Comprehended the Subject Line... and... I Can't March in the Streets Holding a Sign... Maybe You Can... and That's Great! I did that for the Vietnam War and Both Wars in Iraq... It's an Excellent Emotion to be in a Large Crowd of People that Are In Favor of Good and Opposed to Evil...

https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/

https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htm

https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative

Here is a Classic Example of Corporate Welfare... Why Are We being Forced to Pay for another Bomber???

https://time.com/6238168/b-21-raider-bomber-us-military-exclusive/

B 21 Bomber - a Total Waste of Taxpayer Dollars

I Emailed President Biden, Both Senators and My Representative in the House and Said:

"Cut NDAA in Half - Pentagon Spending Has Gone Insane! CUT The Defense Budget and Refund that Money to The Taxpayers! Remember: Since 1945 the US Military Has Never Defended the USA. Not Even Once! Every War Since WW2 Has been a BOGUS Marketing Scheme by the Military Industrial Complex. The War in Afghanistan is Over. It's time for a Peace Dividend. BEHAVE SMART."

and Ami Bera Replied:

Dear Mr. Vanderlaan,

Thank you for contacting me to share your thoughts about our nation’s defense spending.

America’s security and our global leadership rests on three essential principles: diplomacy, development, and defense. All three are essential tools for peace and security, and it is important to ensure a balance. Increased defense spending should not supplant the use of nonviolent options such as diplomacy and foreign aid.

As a senior Member on the House Foreign Affairs Committee, I understand that diplomacy is rooted in trying to find common ground with foreign powers and acknowledging that although we may start at points of difference, there are areas where we can agree and work together. That is why I am joining my colleagues in Congress to restart the Diplomacy Caucus.

I agree that we need to make sure that every dollar we invest in our defense, as well as diplomacy and development, is done right and isn’t wasted. We need to invest in the equipment, support, and training our service members actually need, regardless of the politics.

Our national security also depends on a strong economy and it’s critical that we focus on strengthening our communities here at home. That is why I voted for the bipartisan Infrastructure and Investment Jobs Act, which will restore and modernize our country’s infrastructure while creating millions of new jobs. It also invests in resilience to prevent more climate and weather-related outages, support upgrades to our public schools and public housing, and expand high-speed broadband infrastructure. I am also proud to have secured $3.76 million to support important community projects in Sacramento in the FY22 government spending package, and I will continue to work on bringing home investments to California’s 7th. As Congress considers our long-term spending and budget outlook, you can be certain that I will keep your thoughts closely in mind.

Listening to you is my most important job, so thank you again for contacting me. I take great pride in reading your letters and each one makes a difference. Please visit bera.house.gov/survey to continue our conversation.

Be well, Ami Bera, M.D.

Member of Congress

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Great Movie "Why We Fight" = Corporate Profit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVeoXCOk9sk

It is is a 2005 documentary film by Eugene Jarecki about the military–industrial complex. The title refers to the World War II-era eponymous propaganda films commissioned by the U.S. Government to justify their decision to enter the war against the Axis Powers.^[1]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_We_Fight_(2005_film)

Link to All My Peace Sign Gifts on Zazzle Gregvan

https://www.zazzle.com/store/gregvan/products?qs=peace

Peace Sign Gifts for sale on Zazzle Gregvan

https://www.zazzle.com/store/gregvan

Link to My Main Page...

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WW2 Movie Called "Why We Fight"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcAsIWfk_z4

Requiem for the American Dream: Noam Chomsky on the 10 Principles That Have Led to Unprecedented Inequality in the US. https://www.openculture.com/requiem-for-the-american-dream-noam-chomsky

Requiem for the American Dream: The 10 Principles of Concentration of Wealth & Power is a book by political activist and linguist Noam Chomsky. It was created and edited by Peter Hutchinson, Kelly Nyks, and Jared P. Scott. It lays out Chomsky's analysis of neoliberalism. It focuses on the concentration of wealth and power in United States over the past forty years, analyzing the income inequality.^[1] The book was published by Seven Stories Press in 2017.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Requiem_for_the_American_Dream

Keywords for Future Reading: CIA, NSA, FBI, NRO, DARPA, GE, love, Boeing, Blackwater, Mad Bomber, George Bush, Martin Marietta, Haliburton, NDAA, money, defense, Lockheed, peace, DOD, Pentagon, insane, Dick Cheney, KBR, corruption, profit, Donald Rumsfeld, propaganda, MKULTRA, LSD, brainwashing, mind control, TV News, Advertising, Consumption, NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX, MSNBC, CSPAN, CNN, Twitter, Facebook, Amazon, FaceBorg, Union, Revolution, Assassination, Corporate Greed, Compulsive Hoarding of Money Syndrome, Think Tank...

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The Project for the New American Century (PNAC) was a neoconservative^[1]^[2]^[3] think tank based in Washington, D.C. that focused on United States foreign policy. It was established as a non-profit educational organization in 1997, and founded by William Kristol and Robert Kagan.^[4]^[5] PNAC's stated goal was "to promote American global leadership."^[6] The organization stated that "American leadership is good both for America and for the world," and sought to build support for "a Reaganite policy of military strength and moral clarity."^[7]

Of the twenty-five people who signed PNAC's founding statement of principles, ten went on to serve in the administration of U.S. President George W. Bush, including Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz.^[8]^[9]^[10]^[11] Observers such as Irwin Stelzer and Dave Grondin have suggested that the PNAC played a key role in shaping the foreign policy of the Bush Administration, particularly in building support for the Iraq War.^[12]^[13]^[14]^[15] Academics such as Inderjeet Parmar, Phillip Hammond, and Donald E. Abelson have said PNAC's influence on the George W. Bush administration has been exaggerated.^[16]^[17]^[18]

The Project for the New American Century ceased to function in 2006;^[19] it was replaced by a new think-tank named the Foreign Policy Initiative, co-founded by Kristol and Kagan in 2009. The Foreign Policy Initiative was dissolved in 2017.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_for_the_New_American_Century

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Psychedelic Art printed on Flip Flops for sale on Zazzle Gregvan

Flip Flops for sale on Zazzle Gregvan - Psychedelic Art - gvan42

https://www.zazzle.com/store/gregvan/products?dp=252238577866256946

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Please Visit my Latest Website:

OUTLAW GUNS, COLLECT GUNS, MELT GUNS http://gvan42.bravesites.com/

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Never Forget! Three Days That the USA Was Attacked By Enemies... January 6th, December 7th and September 11th...

January 6th, December 7th and September 11th... Three Days the USA Was Attacked By Enemies... Never Forget!

I Have Come to Believe Most of the "Official Story" of 9/11.

I believe that Saudi Arabians, Lead by Osama bin Laden, Hijacked Airplanes and Flew them into the World Trade Center in New York City. About 3,000 American Died on that Day... and About 6,000 Americans Died in the Crazy Wars that George Bush the Son Started in Response to 9/11... OOPS!

Obviously, He Blew Up the Wrong Countries. We Now Know that Iraq had NO Weapons of Mass Destruction, They had NO Ties to Al-Qaeda and Nothing at all to Do with 9/11... That was a Saudi Operation... However, since we are Enslaved to Saudi OIL, He Couldn't Attack our Masters... so he selected Countries that he was SURE would Not Fight back too strongly...

And then George Bush the Son Failed to FIND Osama bin Laden... Mighty Strange... They Were both Investors in the Carlyle Group (an Oil Investment Club) ... Maybe George was FAILING INTENTIONALLY to Protect a Fellow Oil Man...

And then, President Obama Found Osama and Had The Navy Seals Kill Him... and... Osama has NOT Caused any Trouble Since He's BEEN DEAD.

Joe Biden Ended the War in Afghanistan Because NO ONE Could Explain Why We Were There!

Speaking of the "Official Story" --- Some truly Strange Events DID Happen... World Trade Center BUILDING SEVEN Fell Down. No Airplane Hit that Building... Its Collapse Looked like a Controlled Demolition... It takes about a Week to set all the Charges to make a Controlled Demolition Happen... so they would have had to Start Wiring that Building on Sept 4th... Were they TIPPED OFF That an Attack was Coming on September 11th?

Another Unsolved Mystery:

All Photographs of an Airplane at the Pentagon on 9/11/2001 Have Been Deleted. Apparently, The FBI, The US Military, Google, Bing and DuckDuckGo Have ALL Conspired to Remove All Photographs from the Internet... Worldwide...

LOOK FOR YOURSELF! Is This A Deep State Conspiracy? WHY Are They Hiding The Pictures? WHY Are They Hiding The Truth?

Google Put a Lot of Effort to Scrub the Web of All Photographs of an Airplane... So there would be NO EVIDENCE That the "Official Story" is True... WHY? Who Benefits? What is the Advantage of Billions of People Realizing that We Have Been Lied to By The US Government?

Try a IMAGE SEARCH on Duck Duck Go... SEE? The "Deep State" has Corrupted The Libertarian Alternative to Google... Everyone, Everywhere is Conspiring to SUPPRESS ALL PHOTOGRAPHS of The Truth! "They" Don't Want You to Know That Saudi Arabians Hijacked An Airplane and Flew it Into the Pentagon on 9/11... WHY???

Try it for Yourself! Type the Three Words airplane Pentagon 9/11 into any Image Search Engine... They are ALL Corrupt!

FBI Vault Photo - Shiny (Not Burnt at All) Airplane Parts at Pentagon on 9/11 - This is Supposedly "Proof" That an Airplane Was Really There??? BOGUS! There ARE Photographs of a Giant Ball of Fire... How Did This Part Escape UNBURNED?

https://vault.fbi.gov/9-11-attacks-investigation-and-related-materials/9-11-images

SE Said on FaceBorg:

Right-wingers are constantly screaming that there are just as many extremists on the left as there are on the right, and they love to say that the left is just as corrupt as the right. I see absolutely no evidence of any of this, and they can never provide any evidence of these accusations. Both parties are NOT the same, not even close. There is a huge difference between supporting a coup to overturn an election and supporting Medicare for all. There is a huge difference between thinking all student loans should be forgiven and believing that lizard people are taking over the planet. I'm sorry, but none of this craziness is happening on the left. Nobody can ever provide an example of anything coming from the left which even comes close to the insanity coming from the right. Both sides are NOT the same. Maybe they were the same at some point, but now the right has completely gone off the rails.

VKK Replied:

The only major extremism I ever see coming from the left are the hard-core SJWs. Not gonna lie I laughed out loud at the lizard people.

SE Replied:

It is totally laughable, but they actually believe it. I agree about the hardcore SJWs, but at least they're living in reality. Extremists on the right have completely gone off the deep end.

When did you stop being an SJW and why?

https://www.quora.com/When-did-you-stop-being-an-SJW-and-why

Oh boy, this is going to be a LONG one because I need to get it off my chest. But it boils down to this: SJW bullcrap almost ruined every single one of my human relationships and wrecked my mental health. My fiancé (with the patience of a saint) helped me see reason again.

Alright, let’s preface this: I’m an artist, mentally unwell and a bisexual woman and definitely the optimistic chronically people pleasing dreamer type - terribly predisposed to getting swept away into shit like this. I'm not stupid, just REALLY sensitive. To a point where my brain's computing power doesn't always matter because my heart does all the thinking. So yeah, I guess in a way I AM a bit dense.

I started waking up to the reality of things when my fiancé got fed up with what I put him through for years and little by little started challenging these ideas and opinions of mine. It didn't take long for it to sink in that they weren't truly my opinions, but someone else's words shoved into my mouth. Another's slogans spat out with the force of my own anger and festering bitterness. That set off the first alarm bell.

Like a lot of people, I fell into it in my early 20s and on tumblr. At an angry age, on a platform full of other angry kids and twentysomethings who constantly validate each other’s stupid ideas and are scared to talk about what REALLY goes on in their heads. You know, the worst sort of an echo chamber. When you're young and stupid you're too young and stupid to understand you're young and stupid. Long story short I shared some thoughts with the SJWs and before I knew it I'd internalised ALL of it, hook line and sinker.

All that came out of my mouth was slogans and feelings spoken as truths. "LGBT+ people are terribly oppressed!!!! homophobia is EVERYWHERE!!!!!" was just my code for "I haven't accepted myself as I am, I feel like an outsider and was bullied for it a long time ago" for example. I externalised my feelings as an individual and thought that what I experienced MUST HAVE been the way every gay person felt. Because misery loves company. And that's precisely what the ideology is about.

I didn't notice when personal became political.
I didn't see how this bs ideology and how I went off on angry rants hurt my relationships to the people I'm actually supposed to care for. Instead of calling my parents I screamed for hours on social media about shit that’s none of my business. Instead of standing up for myself and my friends I stood up for strangers. Instead of enjoying a movie with my fiance I now criticised and nitpicked everything about it and felt threatened by him for no reason other than he's a straight white man. I didn't notice how scared I was to draw anything even remotely problematic in years and that the panic and self-censorship had entirely killed my creative drive which has been one of my core character traits since early childhood. What little I drew or wrote no longer came from heart but was a checklist to fill. I wasn't painting my own feelings and telling my own stories but trying to please others and feed the propaganda factory. There was no soul in anything I did, and back then I didn't understand why. I avoided thinking about my own pain and self by thinking about people I had been told deserved my love and support more.

I had become angry, suspicious of everyone, my own family and friends included. I was controlling, cold and manipulative, constantly fed my anger by reading about all these things that were supposedly wrong in the world. I (ironically) lumped people into groups based on skin color and sexuality or whatever other characteristic, and assigned value to people based on traits they can't control. By the SJW logic in me, a rich black woman was more "oppressed" and less fortunate than a homeless white man - which I find morally revolting in retrospect. I was suddenly scared of straight people, even though I haven't gotten a single mean word for being gay since the beginning of high school. My old traumas related to men resurfaced and I fed them and opened up about them to strangers on the internet instead of my psych team (who I considered a bunch of "ableist assholes who wanted to change me because they hate mentally ill people"... the leaps in logic were truly legendary). Essentially, the stuff fueled my PTSD, paranoia and psychotic depression.

I felt threatened, I felt powerless and weak, like the underdog. I was convinced everyone was against me, everyone except this new ideological group that gave me a sense of belonging even though I had never met these fucking people.
Then... It just hit me that this is how they want me to be. They WANT me to be weak, oppressed and powerless. See this was the logic: "If I'm a victim I have a "right" to beat "back" anyone who's mean to me." Of course this spoke to that bitterness and sense of not belonging I had always had lurking deep within me. But keeping you down is not something that people who care about your wellbeing do. This was another big red flag and a pivotal point in shifting my thinking. No person who loved me has ever said “You can’t do that because you’re x”, but these people sure love to do it.

Then, if you renounce your victim status they see it as a betrayal. If you, as a woman/gay/whatever, say that in fact you're doing just fine and nothing can really stop you from living your dream life... That takes away their excuse to be miserable and mean.

There's no empowerment to be found in grasping onto victimhood. You just turn into one miserable mean shithead among all the rest.

Ever since I realised that, my life has changed a lot since. All for the better.

Now I prioritise my work and being authentic. I keep my internet time to a minimum (in the end, I don't use it for much else than work and memes anyway), and try to shower the care, worry and empathy to my friends and family instead of strangers on the other side of the fucking globe. Instead of wallowing in how society is supposedly holding me back, I work and am doing well. I learned to trust my psych nurse doctor and therapist and believe that recovery is, in fact, a good thing and not an ableist conspiracy. Instead of telling myself I can't do x because I'm y I just... fucking do it. I draw messed up horror and weird erotica. I write the cheesiest romance I can possibly come up with and don't for a second think "oh I should probably add a black person here even though the story is set in iron age Ireland and doing that would totally not just be crude and offensive virtue signaling". I don't feel bad about myself (except for having been a stereotypical nightmare SJW) or the things I create, I'm having fun. I've been taking commissions for the first time ever for the past two years now, and I've done a LOT of portraits and a couple of book covers and some fun erotic pieces. At first I was worried not jumping through all the hoops of political correctness as an artist and sacrificing my creative integrity would repel customers but I quickly realised... I really don't want to make art for people who expect that anyway. My work is literally not for them.
I watch "problematic" old movies with my fiance. I laugh at shit that would've made me cry and rage just a handful of years back. I enjoy the shows and books I did as a kid and no longer feel like I have to let go of a thing that makes me happy just because it's "problematic". I work on my health instead of desperately trying to convince myself I'm happy with being obese and in constant joint pain (20 pounds down!) and that others are just being mean to me. I'm kind and polite to people I meet regardless of what they look like, and judge them by their actions and how they treat others. I give respect where respect is due and don't trust a single raging lunatic who tries to forcefully shove their opinions down my throat. I know that in the end they don't have my best interests at heart. They're trying to pull me into a deeper grave instead of letting me pull them up.

I know there's a lot of good, kind hearted people there and a LOT of good intentions. It's insanely easy to renounce responsibility and to blame the world for your misfortune, hell, it's natural for us humans to look for someone to blame when we feel something's wrong. Thing is, I can't blame an entire group of people for trauma that a handful of bullies and abusers with personal problems caused.

Every day I thank my lucky stars I'm marrying the man who had the courage to face that fucking beast. The one that stuck beside me all through that - I'm not sure I could have done so myself. I don't know how to thank him enough for how gentle and wise he is, or how to get across just how much I love and appreciate the fact that he cared enough to talk me out of it instead of just leaving.